


Days Count, Keep The Tally

by swampy (HeadedMints)



Category: JUDGE EYES: 死神の遺言 | Judgment
Genre: (not graphic or sexual, Alternate Canon, Canon-Typical Violence, M/M, Nudity, Pining, i feel like that injury should be taken more seriously, just there), please yagami you cracked your head open like an egg, which is actually mutual pining but kaito doesnt know that
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-20
Updated: 2020-12-05
Packaged: 2021-03-01 23:01:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 39,171
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23744992
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HeadedMints/pseuds/swampy
Summary: Everything that happened at the ADDC has left Yagami in the hospital, and Kaito very quickly starts to feel the space he's left behind. Kaito is soon confronted with new feelings he's not sure he wants to name, afraid of losing what he and Yagami already have. He'd already thought he'd lost him once - could he stand to lose him and have it be his fault?The road to recovery is often more uncomfortable than it should be, but maybe some good things can come out of the journey, too.
Relationships: Higashi Toru & Kaito Masaharu, Higashi Toru & Sugiura Fumiya, Higashi Toru & Yagami Takayuki, Kaito Masaharu & Yagami Takayuki, Kaito Masaharu/Yagami Takayuki, Sugiura Fumiya & Yagami Takayuki
Comments: 49
Kudos: 108





	1. Clover

**Author's Note:**

> When Yagami fell off that bridge I thought, "Oh, this would be a great time for some more hospital stuff", and then it never came. So, I had to make my own. Hope you enjoy :)

Yagami's been pretty much comatose for six days: six days since they had to carry him out of the ADDC. It's been five days since he got out of surgery, five days since they put him on transfusion, and three days since they let anyone see him. Kaito was in and out on the first day, but he's been stationed at Yagami's bedside at almost all hours for the last two.

Kaito stares at his phone and doesn't really think about anything, idly scrolling through Chatter. Yagami breathes in long, even draws, in and out, deep and slow. Kaito's focus slowly begins to drift towards Yagami's face. He's never seen him so peaceful - though it'd be a more comforting sight if there weren't six staples trailing up his forehead, the sight of which reminds Kaito of the five more in the back of his skull.

He sighs, putting his phone away and resting his crossed arms on the plastic railing of the bed, his chin resting on his arms.

Kaito misses Yagami's long hair, which had to be shaved down to stubble when they put the staples in. He misses his voice, his weird smile, and the way his lips curl around a cigarette. He misses the way he always smelled like smoke but in a good way, better than Kaito ever did. He misses that smell on Yagami's leather jacket, with the cheap, off brand cologne that he somehow managed to make smell like heaven. God, he misses that jacket, too. Kaito internally curses the clean, sterile stink of the hospital room, and the pale blue button up, the uniform of a patient.

These things are all connected, he realizes, after a long bout of staring in silence at Yagami, deep in thought. It's like he's a teenager again, shooting glances across the bar at Tender that are all too obvious but not stopping anytime soon, because no one had ever said anything, and they wouldn't ever say anything. Maybe that's when it all started.

He misses Yagami. Even now, when he's right here beside him, he's not really there. The man lying in the hospital bed doesn't really seem to be the man who's been his closest friend for some odd fifteen years, even if they have the same name and the same face.

"Hey, Kaito - san." The door opens, and Kaito immediately stops thinking about sappy shit, as if whoever's just come in can somehow read his mind.

"Sugiura." Sugiura gives him a smile as he stands in the doorway, wearing a loose, long sleeved shirt and worn grey sweatpants, clutching a pillow against his stomach. Kaito motions towards it, "The hell's that for?"

"Doctor says I've gotta press it on when I move around." He says, as he drags the other chair in the room over beside Kaito's. He slowly, gently sets himself down in it. "How've you been? Higashi says you've been cooped up here the past couple days."

"M'fine." He shrugs, and he only half means it. He knows Yagami's going to pull through, but the thought of waiting another week for him to wake up makes him feel sick. "What about you? How're things on your end?"

"Okubo's gonna get released soon, within the month or so. Paperwork's just gotta get processed." Sugiura plays with his hands in his lap, the pillow now resigned to the floor. Kaito leans back in his chair and runs his tongue along his teeth, itching for a smoke. "Been visiting him ever since they let me walk around. He's doing alright."

"That's good." Yagami's chest continues slowly rising and falling, each breath a new peak and valley. "Ta - bo'll be happy to hear it."

"Yeah," Sugiura sighs. They sit there in silence, and the air grows heavier and heavier with each empty second. He starts again, voice barely above a whisper, "How is he? They... they say anything?"

"Haven't told me much, but," Kaito takes a long, deep breath, just a little off beat from Yagami's. "They said he's just sleeping it off right now. He needs the rest."

"It was pretty bad. He, uh," Sugiura quietly, shakily manages the words. His hand hovers above his stomach, tracing the edge of what Kaito assumes is his wound. "He fell three stories and onto a moving car. And got into multiple fist fights after that."

"He's tough." Kaito says, which isn't actually as encouraging as it sounded in his head. He's really got to work on that. "We just gotta wait it out."

"Yeah... Yeah, I know, it's just," He reaches for the pillow and wedges it between his stomach and his thigh. "I don't want it all to go to waste. If everything's over and he's not here, then..."

"I get it." Kaito's throat suddenly feels very, very dry. He nods, swallowing roughly, putting a hand to his neck. "He deserves to see what he did for everyone, yeah?"

"I just want it to be worth it." Sugiura says, both to make himself clear and to show his agreement. He balls the case of the pillow up in his fist, straining the pale, brown fabric. He takes a shaky breath, stops short like he's about to say something, then still waits a little longer to speak. "...I'm scared, I guess. Funny, I'll be just fine - but here I am, scared shitless."

"Think I'm just as scared as you are, man," Kaito chuckles, mirthless. He can feel Sugiura's eyes on him, but all he can do is stare at Yagami. He breathes in slow and deep, subconsciously matching Yagami's tempo. The silence lays in wait, ready to be broken. He starts, after a long while, "I want it to be worth it, too."

Sugiura leaves an hour after he'd arrived, because it's already pretty late and he needs the sleep just as much as Yagami does. Five hours after Sugiura's left, Kaito falls asleep himself, leaning against the railing of the bed. He nods off around two in the morning to the sound of quiet, level breathing.

Yagami's been sleeping for seven days, now: he breathes in long, even draws, in and out, deep and slow


	2. Yellow Zinnia

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry these chapters are so short! I feel the need for solid separation and the scenes in my head aren't quite as long. The chapters may be getting longer as I continue to write.  
> Ty for reading! :]

"Ah, Kaito - kun." Kaito starts awake at the voice. He twists in his seat to see the old man standing in the doorway. "And here I thought I'd be the first one here."

"Genda - san." He gets up and pulls a chair over beside his own, quickly shaking off any signs of sleep. "Saori not with you?"

"She's busy helping Hoshino clear up the last few Mole cases." Genda smiles, the creases in his face deepening. He eases himself into the chair, holding the arms for support, and continues, "And you? Been keeping yourself busy these past couple days?"

"Not... really," He shrugs. Genda sighs and crosses his arms, exactly like what Matsugane would do just before winding up for a "I'm not mad, just disappointed". But before Kaito can even begin to brace himself for a lecture, he sees that the smile remains firm.

"I know how it feels. And I know it might feel like all you can do is wait," The old man starts, and the words are sad and gentle and knowing. Kaito instantly relaxes, yet still feels a knot deep in his stomach and a light, hollow space in his chest. "But you can't just sit here waiting. The world's gonna keep moving, and when he wakes up, one of you has to be ready for everything that comes next. And if you just sit here waiting, neither of you will be."

"Well, damn. Now," He huffs, laughing a little, mostly at himself. Kaito runs a hand through his hair, contemplates shaving his face for the first time in a week. He leans back in his chair and crosses his legs. "Now I kinda feel like an idiot."

"It's not like he wouldn't do the same." Genda sighs, still smiling. Yagami remains undisturbed. He continues, turning to Kaito, "But you really ought to get outside, get back to work, and come see everyone sometime. His agency isn't gonna run itself."

"Oh, shit!" Kaito practically flies out of his chair. He smoothes out the wrinkles in his shirt and dusts off his pants, then gives Genda a quick, shallow bow. "Sorry, Genda - san, but the office -"

"Figures you'd forget," Genda huffs. He waves him away, "Go on, don't let me keep you."

"Right," He moves his chair back to the wall, heads to the door, and spares one last look over at Yagami. He gives another short bow, practically halfway out already, "Thanks again, Genda - san."

"Don't mention it."

  
\--

  
Genda sighs. He's been doing that a lot lately. He looks at Yagami and jokes to himself, thinking he can barely recognize him without a mess of curly black hair on his head. The swollen red line running from above his brows and through his hairline makes Genda frown, even if no one can see it.

Yagami looks so small, even in a hospital room almost as big as his apartment. Without being in motion he suddenly seems so stunted, despite being so strong. All of the muscle seems to dissolve off of him when it's not in use, and his current state only serves to make it worse. It tugs at his heart to see him like this.

The last time Yagami had an extended stay at the hospital, he was barely sixteen. He and Kaito were still at each other's throats back then, even though they were starting to be somewhat close to friends. In a fight Kaito had most definitely won, Yagami had managed to crack more than a few ribs. Kaito had carried Yagami - who was trying so hard not to cry, in vain - to the Matsugane office, and Genda had dropped everything right there to take him to the ER. He'd never seen Kaito so worried, watching him sit next to him in the lobby wringing his hands, looking sick with guilt. In that moment, he actually looked his age: he was just a kid, then, and Yagami was just the same.

News travels fast in the small social circle Genda inhabits. Worries starting at Sugiura spread quickly to the whole office, and Genda had to see Kaito and Yagami for himself. They're both grown men, of course, but all Genda can see them as is those two punk kids who wouldn't stop roughhousing if their lives depended on it. Maybe that's how all fathers are - or maybe he's just getting old. 

Either way, he sits, watching over Yagami, neither of them doing anything in particular. The blanket creases as Yagami's chest rises and relaxes as it falls.

He had wanted no more victims.

The row of staples in Yagami's head is nothing compared to the damage Genda can imagine, based on Hoshino's recount of what Sugiura had witnessed firsthand. He'd walked away from something you don't just walk away from, losing a massive amount of blood. His frown turns into a deeper grimace, his eyes tightening shut.

Genda stands. He should probably get back to the office himself. Here he is, telling Kaito all about responsiblity, yet he's shirking his. He lets out a single dry chuckle to no one in particular, then quietly excuses himself without any delay.

Small as it is, even with Yagami in it, the room seems so empty.


	3. Whittle

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm doing my best to get new chapters out, but this one was rough and I'm not sure why! Hope you all enjoy :]

Kaito throws himself into work harder than he ever has before: he needs both the money and the distractions more than ever. Sugiura lingers around the office, complains about the smell and how much Kaito smokes, but he's good help. They manage not to step on each other's toes on the job, and work is mostly easy, even if it isn't as easy as it was before.

News of Yagami's second acquittal feeds rumors and requests alike. the timing couldn't be better. Yet, even despite the new surge of pseudo - fame, there's still decent swathes of empty time.

And empty time means time to think.

Kaito sits at the office desk and thinks. He's been thinking a lot more lately - too much, even - and no matter what he tries to focus on, his thoughts keep going back to Yagami. God, he misses him. The office does nothing to help guide his mind, either.

He toes the floor and idly spins the chair back and forth. The last few days have been relatively uneventful, and thinking about it, so was the past week. It's like Yagami's set the world at peace somehow. While requests keep flooding in, nothing is as dire as it had been a month back. Things have finally settled down again.

"Kaito - san, you in?" Sugiura doesn't wait for an answer and opens the door without much fanfare. "Got a job from Masuda - san."

"What's up?" He kicks the chair back from the desk and stands, shuffling between the corner and the pinball machine.

"Client's name is Kiyotama Haru," He turns his phone towards Kaito, flashing a picture of a smiling blonde woman in a red hoodie, boots, and jeans torn to hell at the knees. "She's got a problem only we can solve, according to her."

"Where are we meeting her?"

"M Side Cafe. She'll be wearing the jacket in the picture." Sugiura pockets his cell and fixes the long sleeve of his shirt, folding the cuff over and opening it up again. "We can go whenever you're ready."

"Right. Gimme a sec," Kaito pats all his pockets, making sure he's got a pack of cigarettes on them. The box is practically empty: he's been going through them a lot faster than usual. He holds back a sigh, "Alright, let's go."

The red jacket really does stand out. Kaito waves to one of Yagami's friends, this weird barker kid, as he slowly, casually approaches the client's table. He summons his best service etiquette, Sugiura trailing not far behind.

"Kiyotama - san, right? I'm Kaito, from the Yagami Detective Agency," He gives her a curt bow and hopes Sugiura, just out of sight, does the same. "You have a job for us?"

"Oh, you're the detectives? Yeah, there's a problem with my girlfriend..." She plays with the string of her hoodie, twisting it around her finger. She suddenly snaps back to attention, "Ah, um, right. Take a seat, please."

"So, what exactly is the problem?" Sugiura says, gently settling down into his chair. He grabs his side as subtly as he can, which means it's pretty obvious. Haru either doesn't notice or doesn't mention it. "You said it's something with your girlfriend?"

"Right. Her name's Miyu, and she's a hostess at a club here in town." Haru turns her phone towards them, showing a picture of Miyu: her pale brown hair goes down past her shoulders, and freckles dot the bridge of her nose. She lets them get a good look before putting her phone away. "I... I think there's something up with one of her customers."

"Think she's cheating?"

"No, she would never. We've been together for a few years, and there's never been any signs or anything like that. It's just," She takes a deep breath, toying with her hoodie string again. Haru bites the edge of her lip in thought, then continues, "She keeps coming home really late, and when she does, she seems so uncomfortable. And she started coming home late around when she started complaining about this creepy regular of hers..."

"You think there's foul play with her and this guy?" Kaito crosses his arms, and she nods. He leans back in his chair. "So, where do we factor in? What do you want us to do?"

"Just follow her when she leaves work tonight, see what happens." She says, only a little worried. "I'll text you where her club is."

"Alright. C'mon, Sugiura," Kaito stands. Sugiura nods and follows suit. Kaito lingers, though, and sets his hand on the table, "You can pay the standard rate? Eighty thousand okay?"

"Yes, of course. I'll have it ready for you once you're done." She stands up as he bows a second time. She smiles, waving as he leaves, "Good luck, Kaito - san!"

He smiles back, returning the gesture with half the enthusiasm, "See you soon."

"Simple enough," Sugiura shrugs as they mill towards Theater Square. He elbows Kaito in the side, "Should be easier now that you're not wearing that tacky shirt."

"Oh, shut up." Kaito gently nudges him as he reaches in his back pocket for a his cigarette carton. As he goes to grab his lighter, he realizes it's still on the desk back at the office. He retires the almost empty box to his pocket once more with a sigh.

"I'm just saying! But you've gotta admit," Sugiura laughs, tucking one hand in his coat pocket and leaving the other free to gesture. He kicks a stray pebble of asphalt and sends it hurtling down the street, "Yagami - san's got the slick, uninterested look down. Hard to pick him out of a crowd."

"Maybe, if he didn't have that hair." He jokes, trying not to think too hard about how that won't be much of a problem for a while. Sugiura chuckles, laughter a little drier this time.

Yagami's a subject they both still tend to avoid. Neither of them want reality to fully set in, and Kaito's sure Sugiura's got a lot to sort through, himself. These things were so much easier when they were kids, when it was just broken noses and scratches and bruises. Just thinking about him sends Kaito running in his own head, thoughts unbridled.

His phone buzzes. Sugiura leans towards him, half looking over his shoulder as he checks his messages.

"Miyu gets off work at nine." Kaito puts his phone away, taking a moment to completely empty his mind. Sugiura waits. "Her club's over on Senryo, near that cat cafe."

"Gonna be a while," Sugiura brushes his bangs out of his face. Kaito just realizes that his hair needs dyed again, thin streaks of brown showing through pale orange, faded from being washed too many times. "Wanna go kill some time?"

"Sure. Bantam good with you?"

"Only if you're paying." Sugiura grins. Kaito sighs, shakes his head, but knows he would've ended up footing the bill no matter what. He turns, already headed towards the bar.

"S'good thing you're a lightweight," He mutters, purposefully loud enough to hear; Sugiura lets out an exaggerated gasp from just down the street and waits for him to catch up. He chuckles, "No offense."

"Ha ha." Sugiura deadpans, but a smile still plays on his face. He resumes his stride and Kaito follows suit beside him. "We'll see if you're laughing after I kick your ass at darts."

\--

Sugiura's two drinks in and still just as bad at darts as he was when they started.

"What was that about kicking my ass?" He shushes Kaito as he goes to throw his third dart of the final count up round, aiming for the triple twenty. He misses miserably and lands in the black, not even close to the top of the board.

He sighs and resigns himself to a barstool, "Guess it's just not my day."

"For darts, or in general?" Kaito sets himself in the seat next to him, returning to his glass. He shakes it a little just to hear the ice clink before taking a sip.

"I dunno, man." Sugiura looks down at his hands with nothing to busy them with. His hand slowly drifts from the table down to his side - it's becoming an obvious habit of his. "Past month's been crazy. Don't know if I've had a real good day in a while."

"Yeah. It's been..." The joking atmosphere is gone, and Kaito suddenly feels the weight of everything that's happened. He remembers his own wound, not too far from where Sugiura was shot. He remembers the blood and the pain and the way Yagami's face twisted and his voice broke, and the memory makes his stomach start to turn. It's as if he's back in the moment with the cold barrel of a gun pressed to his head.

"Sorry." Sugiura shakes his head like he's clearing away a fog, and Kaito tries to wipe his brain clean again with little success. He takes another sip of his drink and hopes that'll be enough. Sugiura continues, "Didn't mean to get all serious."

"It's fine." He says, lip twitching around the corner of his glass. He's itching for a cigarette worse than ever he has in entire life.

"Dunno what's up with me these days."

"It's fine." Kaito sets his hand down on the bar a little harder than he would've liked.

Kaito's never been the worrying type, mostly because the kind of things he has to worry about are few and far between. Now that he actually has something to worry about, something at the forefront, something looming over every aspect of his life - he's at a loss. It doesn't help that everyone else is just as worried as he is. He wants to know what to do and he doesn't, and that's probably just making things worse.

Everything's just so damn depressing.

His phone buzzes and brings him back to reality for the second time that day, and he makes fun of himself in his head by mentally suggesting he set an alarm for every five minutes to keep him from thinking too much. They've got fifteen minutes until nine. Kaito quickly finishes his drink and leaves the money on the counter, standing. Sugiura looks towards him.

"Better start heading over." Kaito pats him on the back once, twice. Sugiura manages a weak smile and nods as he leaves his seat.

Their walk is uneventful, awkward, and silent, all three of which are unusual for the both of them. Kaito half wishes that some thug'll creep out from one of the alleys and jump them, because then they'd flow into their usual banter and put this whole thing behind them, at least for a little bit. But the neon lights flash and no one comes their way, and it festers between them.

"There's the club," Sugiura nods his head towards a sign and Kaito's eyes follow. The outside of the club is plastered with a tacky card suit motif, lights blinking in sequence. "It's that one, the, uh... "The Jack Scarlet"? Huh."

"There've been worse." He shrugs. Two minutes left until nine, and she'll probably be headed out a little bit after. Kaito meanders towards the railings along the road. "Just gotta wait."

Sugiura leans back against the railing and pulls out his phone. "No big deal."

Miyu doesn't waste any time leaving the club. There's a man with her, standing far too close, smiling despite the discomfort on her face. Sugiura glances up from his phone without raising much suspicion; Kaito crosses his arms.

"Look at him," Sugiura speaks casually, but his brow is deeply knotted, his whole face tightened with anger. He stares daggers down his nose and at the man now draping himself over Miyu's shoulder. "This definitely isn't cheating."

"Gotta be headed to the Hotel District." Kaito replies just as nonchalantly, practically feeling the anger radiating off him. "We tail him and get the picture, sure, but we better step in once all's said and done."

"Mhm. I'll take the rooftops and go on ahead," Sugiura slips his phone into his pocket and starts to head towards the nearest alleyway. "Meet you there?"

"You sure you're up for it? With your," Kaito searches for the right way to say it and fails to find it, "Y'know?"

"Relax. Been doin' this since I was seventeen." That does very little to make him worry less. If anything it kind of makes him feel worse. He watches as Sugiura crosses the street, "Stay safe, yeah?"

He begins to disappear beyond the reach of the gaudy neon lights, deftly slipping into the small alley and taking a ladder to the nearest rooftop.

"You too." Kaito says, now talking to no one in particular.


	4. Daisy, Daisy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the wait! i've been in a bit of a downward spiral lately, which explains why this took so long. i've got a few other fics in the works - the ffxv one i have up, a persona 5 one, and another judgment fic - so i might take some time to post the next chapter. thank you for your patience! i hope you're enjoying the fic.

Kaito follows them up Park Boulevard and past the Hills Gardens without much trouble. Every time Miyu looks over her shoulder the creep beside her quickly guides her back to their route. Sugiura was right; the change of shirt probably is helping.

They stop in front of a hotel and Kaito ducks behind a sign. He looks down the street and sees Sugiura - a flash of white and denim - on a rooftop across the way, kneeling down. Sugiura lifts his head and their eyes meet, exchanging a nod. He leaves the edge of the roof and disappears from overhead.

Kaito pulls out his phone camera and trains it on Miyu, her back against the wall. Her harasser shrugs, painfully casual, slipping his hand into his pocket. His voice is a whisper, unintelligible at this distance.

"N - no," Miyu replies, scared, voice barely staying level. "No, I have to get going. Thank you for taking me out with you, but I -"

"What's the hurry?" Kaito edges closer and begins to make out more and more. "C'mon, Miyu - chan. Just stay a while..."

"I, I don't -" He watches as the creep pulls his hand out of his pocket and brings a knife with it. Miyu backs further into the wall, clutching her hands against her chest. "Ah -!"

Kaito moves before he can even think. He shoves the man away from her and puts himself between them. The knife stays at his side, more an empty threat than anything. He barely looks like he can use it in the first place; the sight of Kaito reduces him to a trembling mess.

"What are you doing?" He stumbles back and trips, falling to the ground. The man stops short and suddenly turns angry, pointing up at them. "I, I... I'll sue!"

"I see you anywhere near her ever again," Kaito growls, kneeling down and grabbing a fistful of his white dress shirt. His confidence crumbles further, face turning pale, words dying before they can leave his mouth. Kaito tightens his grip on his collar and pulls him off the ground to punctuate his point. "I'll beat your ass myself, lawsuit or not. They'll have to peel you off the goddamn pavement."

"Wh - who are you?" He whispers, now starting to sweat. Kaito scowls. "Her, her boyfriend or something?"

For some reason that makes Kaito feel wrong, sick to his stomach, like he's going to puke. He throws the man back to the ground and stands, trying to tamp down on the strange feeling beginning to jump into his throat. The man skitters back a bit further, putting more distance between them. Kaito's scowl deepens as he bares his teeth.

"Get the fuck outta here." The man promptly complies.

"Kaito - san!" Sugiura calls from behind him, standing beside Miyu. Kaito approaches, and he continues, "She's alright."

"Good. But," He realizes, putting his hand to his face and shaking his head. "I didn't get any proof."

"No worries," Sugiura takes out his phone, turning it towards him. The creep's face is clearly visible, as is the knife. He tucks it back into his pocket, smiling, "I got you covered."

"Good. You're, uh," Kaito looks her face over again, despite the fact her long hair is a dead give away. "Miyu, right? Kiyotama - san sent us."

"Oh, but - what would Haru want with you..?" Her face scrunches up, still plagued with worry.

"She thought that guy was trouble," Sugiura butts in. He sweeps his hair back from his face, then goes to idly playing with a few loose strands. "And she hired us to make sure you'd be safe."

"Ah," She sighs, relaxing and slumping over. "Thank you."

"No problem." He reaches for a cigarette on instinct and doesn't find one, the carton still missing. He bites the inside of his cheek for a second and continues, "You gonna be okay walking home?"

"Yes, I'll be alright. I'll call Haru and ask her to pick me up here," Miyu collects herself, gently dusting off her legs and her chest and taking a long, deep breath. She gives Kaito a look of what he swears is sympathy - but he could be wrong. "Again, thank you both."

"Well, we do need to see Kiyotama - san, so," Suigura turns his attention to Kaito, shifting his weight off one foot and onto the other. "You wanna just wait here?"

"Sure. Well, if it's okay with you," Miyu nods, smiling a little. She's slowly beginning to recover from the encounter.

"It's fine. It'd be boring standing here by myself, anyway."

They manage to hold an idle conversation, talking about how expensive taxis are, and overpricing and restaurants. Turns out Miyu's got a thing for Dice and Cube, too; she gets excited just talking about it, and that reminds him of Yagami in a tender, gentle way. Something knotted deep in his chest seems to ease up a little bit.

Sugiura's phone buzzes. He takes one look at it and accepts the call without hesitation.

"Sorry, gotta take this." His brow furrows as he leans his ear against the receiver. As the call continues his eyes go wide, "Yeah, what's up? ...Really? Yeah, of course. No. ...Yeah. Yeah, see you then. Right. Bye."

"Who was it?" Sugiura slowly begins to regain his composure. "Something up?

"Higashi," He says, tucking his phone back in his pocket. "He's at the hospital. He said - he said Yagami's awake."

"We better get over there, then." Kaito turns from Sugiura to Miyu, mind racing again. It takes him a second to put the words together in his brain so he can say them, "Can you tell Kiyotama - san we'll have to get the money from her later? There's, uh, somewhere important we gotta be."

"Of course." She gives him that sympathetic look again and Kaito's still not sure what to think of it. "I hope everything's alright."

"Yeah, me too." Sugiura immediately sets off towards one of the outlets to the main road, and Kaito slowly drifts his way. God, he needs a cigarette so bad. He chews on his lip before waving goodbye, "You stay safe."

"You too."

Sugiura gives a sideways glance as he slides into the back of the cab, shutting the door a little too hard. For the first couple minutes he tries not to be to obvious, but abandons secrecy for the more direct route.

"Hey, you alright?" Kaito looks over him and stops biting his lip; he instead goes to running his tongue along the back of his teeth.

"Yeah, just -" Kaito stops himself from saying anything about Yagami. Probably not the best time - but has it ever been a good time to say something about him since the ADDC? He wonders. "Just itchin' for a smoke, is all."

Sugiura shrugs, still looking midly unconvinced, "If you say so."

Higashi is waiting for them outside Yagami's room, leaning against the wall with his arms folded across his chest. He perks up to attention as they come closer, straightening up. He stands there watching them approach before taking a deep, long breath.

"Hey," He sighs, adjusting his glasses. "Genda - san's in there with Hoshino - kun right now."

"How's he doing?" Kaito takes the lead; Sugiura's still a ways behind him.

"Looks more tired than usual, but seems fine beyond that." Higashi leans his head towards the door, arms still crossed. "They're only letting a couple people in at a time."

"You mind checking on them?" Sugiura says, flashing a sideways glance from Kaito to Higashi. "See if Genda - san's holding up alright?"

"Sure." 

As he opens the door just slightly and quietly lets himself inside, Kaito can hear their hushed voices set to whispering just beyond the wall. He decides to ignore that fact and slowly shuts the door behind him.

"Hi there, Kaito - san." Hoshino waves, standing from shitty plastic chair near the back wall of the room and gathering his things. Kaito gives a noncommittal grunt in response. "Sorry, I was just about to head home for the night."

"It's fine." He moves to the side to give him enough space to open the door. Hoshino shrugs his bag over one of his shoulders and moves beside him. "See you later, then?"

"Yeah, of course." He settles his bag entirely on his back, taking the door handle. Slowly opening the door, he turns towards the room one last time, and, bowing his head a little, quietly excuses himself, "Goodnight, Genda - san."

"Night, Hoshino - kun." Kaito takes the seat beside Genda, setting himself down with a heavy sigh. Genda chuckles a little, to himself, "I thought you'd have been the first one here."

"Kaito - san," Yagami murmurs from his place in the bed; just the movement of his face breathes life back into him, makes him feel real and alive and there. He wheezes a laugh, "Took you long enough."

"Sorry, had a case. Got here as fast as I could." Kaito wants to reach out and touch his hair, which has grown out from more than just stubble. He tries not to think too hard about that thought and keeps his hand resting on his lap. "How're you feeling?"

"Alright, I guess. All things considered." He smiles a little. "They're gonna take the staples out in a few days. Then I'm gonna be on crutches for a couple weeks... and in a brace for a few months."

Kaito turns to Genda, "That true?"

"He broke his spine when he fell," Genda sighs. Kaito remembers the blood dripping down Yagami's nose and over his mouth, the slump to his posture, the wince in his step. "The doctors said he's lucky to not be paralyzed, let alone be alive."

"Not lucky enough to not fall, though." Yagami responds, weak smile still present on his face. His eyes slowly move from Genda to Kaito. "I'll be back at the office soon as I can, promise."

"Hey, no. Take your time," Kaito says, and he means it. He can get along fine without pushing Yagami to get right back to work. He waits a beat in silence, "Are you really gonna stay at your apartment?"

"Yeah? Why?"

"You don't even have a real bed," He sighs, deflating in his chair a little. Yagami gives him a lopsided grin and he pretends his face isn't getting warmer. "Look, your back's fucked up. You can crash at my place, I'll take the futon or something."

"Look at you, worrying about me." His quiet voice is saturated with a playful sarcasm. He quickly turns serious again, taking a short, halting breath as his chin dips against his chest, "But... thanks."

"Don't mention it."

"Well," Genda breathes deep as he stands up, hands against his knees for support. "I should be going. Goodnight, Yagami, Kaito."

"Night, Genda - san." Yagami calls from the bed. The door shuts behind him, and Kaito hears Sugiura and Higashi are still whispering conspiratorially.

"So, I'll, uh..." The room does not feel empty anymore. Something in it makes Kaito want to stay and want to leave at the same time, and he's torn between the two. He puts his hands in his pockets as he stands, "See you later?"

"Yeah," Yagami says, face falling a little; he's thinner, now, and his cheekbones draw a slightly sharper line in his face. "See you."

Even though his brain is screaming at him to stay, stay just a little longer, Kaito leaves without another word

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i also realized i haven't been replying to comments, though i've been meaning to! i'll be sure to reply more often from here on out.


	5. Weather, Wither, Wilt

So maybe he'd jumped the gun a little by inviting Yagami to stay at his place.

There's not much here that there isn't at the office besides an actual bed, a bathroom, and more clutter. But it's a pretty reasonable offer, right? Better than having Yagami sleep on a couch that's too small for him. Better than leaving him without a shower.

That's what Kaito tells himself as he pores over his apartment, trying to make sure it's ready. Yagami's been over before, with the place not in half the condition it is right now; so why is he worrying about it? He tries reasoning it out and finds that his brain does not agree. It'll just have to stay a big deal.

Kaito's not really a big worrier, mostly because the sort of things he worries about are few and far between. The fact that he's so caught up in something so simple and small is concerning - and that's probably only making his worries worse.

He shoves his hand into his pocket the second his phone buzzes. The sight of Sugiura's name gives him the slightest bit of hope; the fact that his text isn't about picking up Yagami extinguishes it.

_got the money from kiyotama - san._  
_i gave her and miyu your number_

Sugiura continues typing without waiting for a response.

_be at the hospital soon_  
_text you when im omw back_

Kaito sighs and sets to pacing again, thumbs hovering idly over the keyboard. He types a little - way too much, practically a paragraph - and backspaces all the way. He tries again, to the same result. He takes a deep breath.

_thanks_

Kaito slumps into an old green - grey couch, the first piece of furniture he'd brought to the apartment. He rests his phone on his face and exhales heavy, tapping it against his forehead. It'll all be fine, he tells himself. What're you so worried about?

He can't really answer that question, which makes him a little worried. God, what's wrong with him?

He resigns himself to his chair and to his not actually messy apartment with a huff directed to no one but himself. Kaito wastes time not reading anything he sees on Chatter, idly wondering if anyone else has these problems. They're obviously not talking about them. Maybe he'd feel a little less weird about it if they did.

His heart nearly leaves his body when Sugiura texts him again almost an hour later. 

_almost there_

Kaito sets his phone on his chest and gives his apartment one last nervous once over. It remains unchanged from his last examination. He has to keep himself from setting to rearranging things again, convincing himself everything's fine, because it is. Yeah.

"Kaito - san," Sugiura nods as he opens the door. He steps to the side and holds it open so Yagami can come inside, crutches clicking on the wooden floor.

"Aw, you cleaned just for me?" Yagami gives him a joking smile, livelier than he was just a few days before. A thin pink scar trails up his forehead and into his steadily returning hair. He adds, "You didn't have to, Kaito - san."

He feels like he's going to spontaneously combust any second now.

Kaito tries to ignore the fact that he's on the verge of defying the laws of physics and bursting into flames. "You need any help getting situated?"

"Nah, I didn't really bring anything." Yagami shrugs, moving towards the couch. Kaito takes his crutches for him once he's settled in and rests them on the arm. "Just, get me caught up on everything - you too, Sugiura."

"Sorry, gotta take a raincheck," He points his phone at them as if the blank screen will give some explanation, hand still on the door. "Something came up. Later though, yeah?"

"No problem." Yagami waves as he heads out. He turns his full attention to Kaito, whose brain reconsiders actually working, "So, anything interesting happen while I was out?"

"Not interesting without you around, Ta - bo," He says, sitting down next to him, "You're pretty much a magnet for weird."

"Hey, it keeps work steady. Rather have weird jobs than no jobs at all," He smiles with a dry little laugh and his face seems to ward off any and all impending disaster. Kaito's worries start to melt like they're baking in the sun. Yagami's eyes are crinkled at the edges, the aftermath of a moment ago, "I'm guessing it's just been more boring than usual?"

"Ye - yeah," Kaito once again tries to dismiss the storm of thoughts that swell up from his chest and warm the back of his neck. "And, uh, how were your last few days in the ICU?"

"Got drilled on all the do's and don'ts. Can't drink or smoke, got pills to take every day," He sighs, leaning back and resting his arms over the top of the couch. Kaito notices the unnaturally straight line of what must be his brace, shaped against his back and his stomach. Falsely wistful, he adds, "They'll make an innocent Catholic boy out of me yet."

"Need Sugiura to take you to church on Sunday?" That gets a laugh out of him. Kaito smiles, softening. He settles back and feel Yagami's arm ghosting against his shoulders. "Though if you're feeling rebellious, you could always go blonde again."

"God, don't remind me. I can't pull it off like Tashiro," Yagami shakes his head and rests his hands in his lap with a huff. Kaito already misses the contact. "Ah, I miss my hair..."

"Hey, it'll be back in no time. Speaking of," He runs his hand along the back of his neck, feeling the heat there. His palm is cold against reddening skin. "Know when you'll be back on your feet again?"

"Gonna be a couple weeks. They're starting my therapy in a few days." Kaito misses that leather jacket. Its absence also leaves Yagami devoid of his own smell, of that cheap deodorant and cigarette smoke. He realizes that seems maybe a little strange, but the thought continues to seep deep into his brain. "Sugiura said he'd drive me, it'll be cheaper than getting a taxi every time."

He misses a lot of the old Yagami, he thinks, as the silence between them continues to grow. This new Yagami is somehow the same, though, and he's beginning to find new things to like about him; the new exposed part of his neck; his wiry arms; how soft his hair must feel. Kaito looks him over and enjoys him just as much as he enjoys the memory of him.

Yagami catches him staring. Their eyes meet for a split second before Kaito looks sway.

"Sorry," Yagami says. He waits an awkward moment, then adds, "For keeping Sugiura away from work, I mean. You're gonna be short a man."

"S'fine," Kaito mumbles, his mouth resting against his hand. "Don't mind taking one for the team."

"...Kaito - san?" He gazes back at Yagami. He looks like he's forgotten what he was going to say, eyes lost in some minute detail on the floor. He runs a hand over his head, lingering on his scar, before finally looking up. "Thanks. For everything."

Kaito starts leaning towards combustion again. He prays to whatever god is out there that his face isn't as red as it feels and pulls on the best smile he can muster.

"No problem."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi again everyone! i hope this one was good to you all, and we should be finally getting to the meat of it! i'm not sure how long this'll be - maybe around ten chapters? i guess we'll see  
> thank you again for your support!


	6. Allergy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry if this one felt like a while! i've been having trouble being motivated lately. anyway, i hope you enjoy :]

Kaito doesn't get much sleep that night, and the sleep he does get is worthless, restless and unsatisfying. He sits up on the couch long before the sun's come up and waits in silence, taking stock of himself. He's warm. Any of his skin that touched the couch now peels off the leather. No matter how hard he tries he can't get back to bed - he sighs and lays back down, putting his feet up over the arm.

It's early. Yagami doesn't do early normally, so it'll probably be even later than usual once he wakes up. Kaito ruminates on whether he should just lie here for the next few hours and eventually decides against it. He slowly stands and makes his way to the bedroom door, lingering by the threshold.

High - mounted lights on the buildings across the street shine tirelessly through the window, falling in distorted squares over the bed. Yagami rests stiffly beneath the sheets, arms at his sides. His face is peaceful, and his chest rises and falls without a sound. Kaito watches him move in his sleep, head tilting to one side. A car rumbles down the street in the distance.

No one is there to tell Kaito he's acting strange, so he tells himself that he is. Shame bubbles up scalding hot in his chest and he turns back to the rest of the apartment, quietly shutting the door behind him. He runs a hand over his face and takes a long, deep breath, collecting himself. His palm is cold against warm skin.

He's really got to get himself under control.

Kaito pulls out his phone for distraction, planning on lurking on Chatter again. He blinks away the blinding glow of his phone screen and sees a message from an unknown number dated yesterday afternoon. He slowly sets himself down in one of the kitchen chairs before opening the text.

_Hey its hasegawa miyu, from a couple nights ago. I just wanted to thank you for all your help :)_  
_Me and haru wanted to know if you wouldn't mind getting together sometime._

Work has been slowing down lately, he thinks. He could use some time spent out of the office without really anything to do. Something needs to start distracting him again; maybe this - they - could be it.

_i dont mind. whatever works for you_

He wanders over to the small window near the corner of his apartment and stares down at the street. The sun hasn't even dreamed of rising yet, the moon and the streetlamps working the night shift. Another car drives past, moving in and out of the shadows. Only a handful of stars manage to shine in the oil black sky above the city, ducking behind highrises and hidden by clouds and light pollution.

Kaito's considering making some coffee when his head dips against the windowpane, his eyelids growing heavier and slowly falling shut. The rumble of the city is far away; the glass is comfortably cool against his forehead.

"Oi, Kaito - san?" Something taps against his leg. He straightens his back and looks up to find that the sun is out, painting the sky baby blue. He turns around to find Yagami standing behind him, "You must've dozed off for a second there."

"Mhhm. Sorry about that," Kaito rubs the sleep from his face and stretches, reeling his arms back behind him and rolling his shoulders. He yawns a little, "You been up long?"

"Not really." Yagami shrugs, adjusting his crutch beneath his arm. He runs a hand through his messy bedhead, short hair wound in small, tight curls. "Sleep well last night?"

"Eh, wasn't that bad." He lies without even thinking. Kaito turns around - and he knows that no matter what Yagami says, his eyes have always seen the truth. Right now those eyes are staring straight through him and into his soul. He averts his own eyes and clears his throat, walking away from the window, "M'gonna make some coffee. You want some?"

"No, thanks. Besides," Yagami is probably still giving him that look as he heads into the kitchen, all - knowing gaze boring into the back of his skull. "You need it more than I do."

"Maybe. If I don't wanna pass out at the office," He deflects, trying not to think too hard about it. His coffee maker, which saw its last better days years ago, begrudgingly purrs to life. The coffee tin is practically empty. He makes a mental note to grab some more after work tonight as he fills the machine with water. "Starting to think I might not mind, though."

"If Sugiura doesn't tear you a new one if you do, Higashi probably will." Yagami adds, following not far behind. He lets himself down into one of the kitchen chairs and props his crutches up against the table. He jokes, "Oughta drink the whole pot to be safe."

"Nah. Would never have any left if I did that every time I was tired." He leans against the counter and waits for the it to finish, listening to it hum in a way it probably shouldn't. Kaito taps his fingers against the counter, impatient, "I'll live. Somehow."

"Mm," Yagami hums, unconvinced.

The silence that spreads out between them is not nearly as comfortable as it would have been only a month ago. This is not the two of them poring over case files, ready to break the quiet with a joke or an observation; this feels like the silence between strangers, two people with nothing to say. It feels wrong, sitting here with something like that between them. It feels wrong, sitting here and thinking that it might be his fault.

The coffee maker, unable to read the room, happily beeps to signal that it's done.

"You want breakfast?" He asks, if only to break the silence. Kaito pulls a mug from the cabinet. The glass clinks against false granite. "I can make something."

"Sorry, not really hungry." Yagami replies. Kaito realizes he's suddenly not hungry at all, either. In fact, he's leaning towards feeling a little sick. "Mind if I use your shower?"

"Sure," He says, staring into his mug. The coffee idly laps along the edges, up past the thick, so brown it's black stain, steam rising. He slowly takes a sip, not caring how hot it is. "Won't you, uh, need something? Y'know, to..."

"Just a chair's fine." Yagami stands, lingering by the table. Kaito takes his now vacant chair and carries it into the bathroom, unfolding it in the shower. Yagami follows him not far behind. "Thanks."

"Yeah. I'll, um," Is he the only one of the both of them that feels so awkward today? Kaito retreats backwards from the bathroom, letting Yagami past him, "Get you a towel."

If he keeps up like this he's not gonna last a week with Yagami staying over. He drops off the towel, only putting his arm through the doorway, and quietly resigns himself to another cup of coffee.

When they get to the office it's completely empty, despite the fact that Kaito's already come in pretty late. Yagami goes to his usual spot on the couch and Kaito sits at the desk, grabbing the landline. It's almost noon and there are still no missed calls or voicemails. He sighs and leans back in his chair.

"Something up?" Yagami asks, looking up from his phone.

"No new work yet." Kaito huffs, reaching over to put the landline back in its holder. He puts his hands behind his head and settles back again. "And no Sugiura - and he's usually here before me."

"Hmm," He hums as he sits upright. After a moment of thought, Yagami tucks his phone away and reaches for his crutches. "Any clients scheduled for today?"

"No. Why?"

"C'mon, let's go kill some time." He says, already at the door. Kaito shuffles through the small space between the corner of the desk and the pinball machine. "The Sega's just down the street."

"This what you usually do on slow days?" Kaito chuckles, holding the door open for him. He follows Yagami down the stairs and hurries to walk beside him as they head towards Nakamichi.

"A man's gotta drop a couple thousand yen on arcade games sometimes, Kaito - san." Yagami deadpans matter of factly, like it's the most obvious thing in the world. He tilts his head back for emphasis. "Helps him feel alive."

"Well, s'not the weirdest thing I've seen this past year," He shrugs as he swings open the heavy red door, standing aside and letting the cacophony of arcade cabinets out onto the street, "So I'll take it."

Yagami practically gravitates towards the corner with the Puyo Puyo machines, and Kaito trails right behind him. The cabinet happily announces that it's ready to be played, and Yagami settles into the stool in front of it. Before he can even reach for his wallet Kaito bends down and puts a hundred - yen coin in the slot.

"We're doing this on my money today." He says as he puts a coin into the machine next to him, taking his own seat. "Besides, I got a couple thousand to spare."

"Oh, such a bad influence," Yagami pantomimes, the back of his hand on his forehead in exaggerated anguish. The tension between them from this morning is already starting to thin out. "What would Genda - san say?"

"Knowing him, he probably already knows." Kaito laughs. He watches Yagami pick Suketoudara and, with a quiet gripe about not being quick enough, picks Rulue instead. "No wonder you can never pay rent."

"That, is because of completely unrelated expenses." The game starts. Yagami immediately turns his attention away from Kaito and towards the cabinet. "Business expenses, promise."

"Mm - hmm."

He loses the first game, and the second, and the third one after that. Yagami has an undue amount of skill that makes Kaito actually believe that he's been spending thousands on Puyo Puyo alone. He should probably reassess the respect he has for the man, but he probably won't. To each his own.

As their fourth game begins Kaito's eyes wander over to the corner of his vision. Yagami has a focus on his face that Puyo Puyo doesn't deserve, brows furrowed, mouth quirked to one side. It looks good on him, somehow, his face paled by the bright light of the arcade cabinet. It's a focus that should be reserved for more serious, pressing matters, and yet there it is. Something about that makes his chest feel light.

Rulue whines as she loses the match in only a few minutes, puyos stacked in a straight column.

"C'mon, you didn't even try that time." Yagami taps him on the shoulder with the back of his hand, shifting on his stool. Kaito snaps out of his trance; Yagami's face turns questioning again, "You alright?"

"Hm? Oh, yeah." He pushes back from the cabinet and blinks a few times, "Sorry. Kinda out of it today."

"I can tell. Work been tough on you?" Kaito doesn't really have a way to answer that won't draw any of his suspicion, so he doesn't say anything at all. Yagami leans on the cabinet, "You can always take a break, y'know. We're not just a two - man operation anymore."

"Yeah," He rubs the back of his neck. Yagami's concern is touching, but unfounded and misdirected. If anything, work's the only thing keeping him in one piece. "Dunno, maybe I will."

The door swings open behind them, metal creaking on its hinges.

"Speaking of." Yagami says, reaching for his crutches.

"Yagami - san, Kaito - san. Thought I'd find you here," Sugiura tucks his hands in his pockets as he nears their corner of the arcade, casual as ever. He smiles a little, "Slow day?"

"Not as slow as you." Kaito welcomes the distraction wholeheartedly. "Where you been, man?"

"Personal business again," He shrugs, then turns joking, "Turns out I've got just a little more of a social life than you."

Kaito rolls his eyes, "I find that hard to believe."

"I second that." Yagami adds. "Don't lie to me, us and Higashi are practically your whole social circle."

"Hey, I've got other friends!"

"Example?"

"...Hoshino - kun." They both can't help but laugh at that. Sugiura quickly joins in, fixing a stray, brown hair back his behind his ear. "Alright, but seriously, I swear I wasn't trying to come in this late."

"No problem. Like you said, it's been slow today." Kaito's phone buzzes in his pocket; Miyu's texted him back.

_Does tomorrow work for you?_

If work keeps up like this, it probably will. He thinks a moment before replying, tilting his head to the side.

_it should. i'll tell you if anything comes up_

_Great!_  
_See you then :)_

"That a job offer?" Sugiura asks as he puts his phone away. Kaito stands, stretching a little bit. "Man, we might actually have to work today."

"Nah, just Miyu."

"Friend of yours?" Yagami follows suit and gets off of his stool.

"Yeah, me n' Sugiura met her a couple days ago on a case." Sugiura plays with his hair again, taking it out from behind his ear and letting his bang fall into his eyes a little. "She and her girlfriend wanted to meet up tomorrow."

"Well, Yagami - san's got therapy tomorrow," Sugiura offers. "So you'll have something to keep you busy."

"Mhm." He remembers that Yagami'll be in and out of therapy for the next couple weeks and loses just a little of his earlier spirits. He's not sure he really wants to think too much about spending even more days without Yagami. "It'll be a nice change of pace."

"That's good, yeah? Be sure to say hi to them for me." Sugiura finishes adjusting his hair and returns his hands to his pockets again.

"Got it." The morning's exhaustion starts catching up with him all of a sudden. "You wanna break for today? We can start on new jobs tomorrow, if there are any."

"Sure, I don't mind. Think I'll drop in on Genda - san." Sugiura turns towards the door, waving goodbye. "See you tomorrow, Yagami - san."

"Bye." Yagami's smile fades a little the instant Sugiura leaves. He turns towards Kaito, concern creeping into his face again. "You sure you're alright?"

"Yeah," Kaito says, even though he doesn't really believe it himself. "Don't worry."


	7. Sweet Basil

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry i took so long with this one! there was a lot of dialogue, and i wanted it as clean and smooth as possible.  
> hope you enjoy :]

"Hey," Yagami asks as he stares over the dashboard of Sugiura's van, tracing the handprints in the dust with his eyes. He kicks one foot up against the lower part of the dash, folding his arms. "Did something happen with Kaito - san while I was out?"

"No," Sugiura slowly replies, not taking his eyes off the road. "Why?"

"I dunno, he's just seemed... off, lately." He taps his shoe against the plastic. The light up ahead, barely visible with where and how he's sitting, turns red. "How was he without me around?"

"Well... he was probably the most worried. Maybe even more than Genda - san," Sugiura adds the last part with a little laugh, idly drumming his hands on the wheel. His phone reminds him to turn right in four hundred feet; he checks the map and sets it back down on the console. "For the first couple days he wouldn't even leave your bedside."

"Don't remember him being so sentimental." The light turns green.

"Yeah, well," Sugiura seems to suddenly come to a realization, eyes going wide for a split second before he gets control of his expression. He squirms in his seat as the cars start to move again, trying to avoid even the slightest glance at Yagami. "Think he changed a lot those couple weeks."

Yagami sits up in his seat more, putting his foot back on the floor. He almost shifts into interrogation without even thinking and tries to keep his voice light instead. "What do you mean, "changed"? Is he really so different now?"

"You'd have to ask him, man." Sugiura says, obviously trying to avoid this conversation and the subject altogether. "All I can do for you is guess."

There's definitely something he's not saying; it's written all over his face, ingrained in the way he moves. There's no way he'll get anything without proof, though, and there's no telling if there's actually any evidence for him to find.

"Hm." He doesn't bring it up. "I guess so."

Yagami mentally files it for later, intent to get to the bottom of both Sugiura's response and Kaito's behavior.

\--

Yagami's at therapy today, leaving Kaito's apartment to himself - which really shouldn't feel as weird as it does right now. It's somehow empty without Yagami here, even if he's a temporary addition to the place. He hopes it won't still feel like this once Yagami moves back into the office.

Miyu's supposed to text him when her and Haru are ready, and he's been checking his phone practically nonstop since he woke up. He needs something to do, but he doesn't feel like working. Kaito's completely run out of steam all of a sudden, and it's not because of how he'd been working in the past few weeks. 

He's tired. And the worst part of it is that he doesn't really understand why.

So he stands near the front door with his shoes and his jacket on, waiting for a text that could come in two minutes or two hours. He's bored, yet somehow there's nothing he could do to make him not bored; but he still feels like an idiot for just standing here doing nothing.

Maybe he should drop by the office, just to give himself something to do. Check if anyone's waiting there, maybe leave a note telling Sugiura he'll be playing hooky. He can only hope there's not any urgent new cases today.

As Kaito walks down the alley, he sees the lights on upstairs in the office. His first thought is Yagami - he would gripe about how it was still early, and that they'd be wasting money having them on while it was still bright out. His second thought is how they probably shouldn't be on at all, since Sugiura and Yagami are still out.

The walk up the stairs feels longer than it ever has. He lingers at the office door, hand hovering over the doorknob. Kaito takes a deep breath and braces himself, finally reaching out to open the door.

The door opens before he can even touch the handle.

"Aniki, hey," Higashi's standing in the doorway. "I saw you through the window, but I didn't know if you were gonna come in."

Kaito lets out a long sigh. "Hey, Higashi. Just wanted to check in on the office real quick."

"Not gonna stick around?"

"No, sorry. Headed somewhere soon." He moves to take off his coat and stops when he remembers he'll be leaving in a few minutes. Awkwardly fixing his jacket, he clears his throat a little, "Why'd you drop by? Thought things were still pretty messy with the Matsugane."

"Well... they're getting better." He shrugs, standing aside to let Kaito inside. Higashi shuts the door behind him. "HQ's been keeping them stable for a while, but they're probably gonna pick a new patriarch soon."

"That so?" While the Matsugane are finally shaping up again, Kaito doesn't really want to think about them too hard. Besides Higashi, he'd mostly rather avoid the family altogether. "Who're they thinking?"

"Right now, probably Ozaki. Kengo's a little too young, too inexperienced." Higashi falls silent, looking down at the floor. He waits a long, long moment before continuing, quieter now, "For a while they were... they were talking about bringing you back."

"And," Kaito starts gently, treading lightly. "They ever decide if they were?"

"I told them it wouldn't work out. It'd probably just worsen family tensions and -" Higashi cuts himself off, taking a sharp breath as he leans one hand against the couch near the door. He fixes his glasses and gets ready to speak again, "You're happy right now. I didn't tell them that, obviously, but..."

There's a long pause.

"But?"

"I just... didn't wanna be the one to take that from you." He says, softer than before. Higashi clears his throat and just barely speaks up, "This, this detective thing you have, with Yagami... it suits you. I don't want you to lose that because of some stupid Tojo bullshit."

"Well, thanks for that." Kaito claps a hand on his shoulder and watches him begin to loosen up. "Guess I really dodged a bullet, huh?"

"You're telling me." He shakes his head. "Every time they try to bring some guy back in the game the whole clan goes to shit."

"Hey, I'm no Dragon of Dojima."

"Maybe," Higashi laughs. "But you're still no slouch yourself, fourth chairman aside."

"Now you're just trying to flatter me." Kaito says, only half joking. He smiles a little, not feeling as tired now. "I'm gonna go, alright? You gonna be good holding down fort?"

"I'll be fine. Go on, man, take your break already." Higashi waves him off, opening the door and practically ushering him out. "God knows you need it."

"Yeah, yeah," He stops and leans in the doorframe. Higashi seems happier than he ever has these days, which helps ease some of Kaito's worries. Things've really been looking up for all of them recently, haven't they? "I'll see you later, alright?"

"Yeah." Higashi lingers at the open door, watching as Kaito slowly makes his way back towards the stairs. "Be seeing you."

As soon as he's cleared the sightline of the office windows and made his way onto Nakamichi, Kaito remembers to check his phone. Miyu texted him four minutes ago - thank god he didn't just keep wandering for another half hour, waiting for a text that'd already come.

_hey, we're headed to m cafe right now! We'll save a seat for you._

Coffee. He can do coffee.

_right. omw_

God, how long's it been since he's had a normal conversation with normal people? Sugiura doesn't count; Yagami's the closest thing to normal out of their group, and that's not really saying much. Yagami had managed to go on a couple dates with, what, four girls who had been their clients? He had a social life outside of his detective work, even if he ended up turning them all down.

For some reason that sends a flare of bitterness through Kaito, souring his expression as he walks down the street. He roughly shoves his hands into his coat pockets and watches as a couple gives him a wide berth as they pass him on the sidewalk. Embarrassment follows close behind, hot on the back of his neck.

What should it matter to him? Why should he care about the women Yagami's been with? It's his life, and Kaito's only a relatively small part of it.

If only the part he has was even just a little bigger, he finds himself thinking. He immediately pushes that thought out of mind and does his best not to dwell on it.

"Ah, Kaito - san!" Haru waves from a table with three seats, blonde hair pulled back into a bun. Miyu sits beside her, hair now cut short, the very edges of her bangs ending just above her browline. "Over here!"

"Kiyotama - san, Hasegawa - san." He nods to each of them as he sets himself into his chair, shrugging his jacket off. "Nice to see you."

"You too." Miyu's wearing Haru's jacket, he realizes. It's a few sizes too big and hangs comfortably loose off her, unlike the dress she'd worn to work the night they'd met. "How have things been on your end? Sugiura - san told us you had a friend in the hospital not too long ago."

"Yeah, he said he was hurt pretty bad, too." Haru adds, leaning on her elbows. She brushes a stray hair out of her face, looking worried. "That was why you had to leave all of a sudden, wasn't it?"

"Yeah. He, uh, he woke up for the first time in a week a few days ago." It feels strange, talking about it. Talking about it makes it feel real, pulls it out of that dream like intangible state and makes it solid. "Sorry for bailing on you."

"No, no, it's fine! Really." Miyu smiles, waving her hands. "You really needed to be there. I understand."

"Who was this friend, anyway?" Haru takes a slow sip of her coffee and wipes her mouth on the back of her hand. Miyu not so subtly slides her a napkin across the table. "Sugiura - san said you were close."

"He's the head of the detective agency I work for," He starts as he rests his chin in his palm, and Haru interrupts him with an exaggerated gasp.

"Yagami?" Her eyes go wide, a hand flying over her mouth. Her expression turns from worried to one of abject terror, like she's seen a ghost. "You mean... _that_ Yagami?"

"Didn't he help solve those murders from the past couple months?" Miyu asks, much calmer than her girlfriend. "I remember seeing him on the news, I think. All the reporters kept getting pushed back by the cops."

"Yeah. He came out of it in pretty bad shape," Kaito says. He still can't get the memory out of his head; Yagami, barely conscious, lying limp in his arms, blood all over his face and his back, soaked through his jacket. He does his best to push it back down and mostly fails. "But they're thinking he'll make a full recovery. He's a lot better already."

"That's good," Miyu twirls the string of her hoodie around her finger. Her and Haru must share that little tic, though he's not really sure why. "Has he gotten out of the hospital yet?"

"Couple days ago."

"Oh, I'm glad he's okay! With all he did," Haru sighs, deflating a little. She traces a grain of wood along the tabletop with her finger. "It'd suck if all he got was hurt."

"Yeah. Dunno what I'd do if he'd gotten hurt any worse." Kaito runs a hand through his hair, trying once again not to think too hard. He relaxes at the thought of Yagami's recovery. "I just... I'm happy he's still with us."

"Kaito - san," Haru eyes him intently; she gives him a long, slow once over and says, smiling as she rests her cheek in her palm, "You're kinda a softie, y'know?"

Miyu elbows her in the side. "Haru!"

"Not in a bad way!" She adds. Kaito isn't even upset, and probably wouldn't be anyway - he's still reeling from the fact that she said it in the first place. "I can tell you really care, that's all! It's good that Yagami - san's got someone like that."

"No, it's... fine, I just," He takes a long, deep breath, "Didn't expect that."

"Haha, my bad," Haru leans back in her chair and folds her hands, nervously chuckling. Miyu gently slaps her on the arm, and she laughs a little more. "Hope I didn't make you uncomfortable."

"You didn't. I mean, you're right." He says, ignoring the heat building in the back of his neck. His mouth moves faster than his brain can tell it not to. "I do care about him."

Haru almost seems to double - take; she quickly corrects her expression, however. "That's... that's good. Yeah."

"He's lucky," Miyu softly smiles, "To have someone like you worrying about him."

\--

"You're back. Finally." Yagami says as soon as Kaito opens the door. Kaito looks up and sees him sitting on the couch. "You have a good day?"

"Yeah, if you can believe it." Yagami chuckles a little at that, shaking his head with a small smile. Kaito locks the door behind him and heads over towards the main room. "How was therapy?"

"Doc says I did good for my first time," Yagami scoots over to make room for Kaito on the couch. "Didn't feel like I did too good, though."

"Think you just gotta give it time, man. I get that waiting sucks, but," Kaito says, trying not to think about how pissed and upset he is at everything that's happened to Yagami. He swallows his anger and stops it from bubbling over; he puts a hand on Yagami's shoulder. "Shit's not gonna get better in just a night, or even a week."

"A few weeks is a long time to wait. And," Yagami folds his arms, leaning back into the couch. He brushes a short curl behind his ear and sighs, "You and Higashi'll be the only ones really working full time."

"We can handle it." He makes an attempt to help him relax, gently kneading his thumb into the meat of Yagami's upper arm without even thinking. Kaito catches himself and pulls away, rubbing the hot back of his neck. "You don't gotta worry about carrying the team. We'll be fine."

"...Yeah."

Yagami won't look at him, and he avoids eye contact right back. The awkward silence comfortably settles in again. Kaito feels like he's done something wrong, like he's been doing something wrong over and over again these past few days and being rewarded with this stupid silence. He doesn't understand what it is, and that's why he keeps making the same mistake. What is he supposed to do?

"I, uh," Yagami clears his throat. He reaches over the arm of the seat and turns a blu-ray box towards Kaito, "I got this shitty looking yakuza movie on the way back. Was thinking you might like it."

He recognizes the cover, vaguely. "I've heard about this one. Fucking terrible."

"Perfect, then. If it's bad we can just make fun of it the whole time."

"Hm. Good point."

As the movie goes on in all its poorly written, loose ended glory, Yagami slumps over onto Kaito's shoulder. The antagonist turns out to be a character that was introduced once, early in the movie, who was never mentioned again until the end. The hero goes through improbable fight scene after improbable fight scene and eventually gets shot out of nowhere. Kaito silently curses the shoddy writing; Yagami breathes in and out against him, fast asleep.

He could get used to this, he thinks, if only the awkwardness was resolved. Kaito settles into the couch and closes his eyes, Yagami warm against him and the TV left quietly looping the movie's opening screen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> nobody tell higashi the tojo's gonna collapse in like. a year lmao


	8. Peony, Without Reason

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kaito gushes about yagami without even realizing, and doesn't even realize after that

"You feeling okay, Kaito - san?" Haru asks him as soon as he sits down. They changed things up at met at Kyushu instead - he's getting tired of coffee, as necessary as it is. "You're looking a little rough."

"Just out of it today, I guess." He shrugs, even though it's definitely something that runs deeper than that; deeper than just today, too. He gestures towards the chef, who already knows his order by heart. "Kinda tired."

"Maybe we should've stopped for coffee today after all, then." Miyu picks at her ramen with her chopsticks, sifting a thick cut of pork around in the broth and pinning it to the bottom of her bowl. "You gonna be alright?"

"I'll be fine." He eagerly takes his own bowl closer to the edge of the counter, breaking his chopsticks apart. He takes a healthy hunk of chashu off the top and chews thoughtfully, waiting so he doesn't talk with his mouth full, "Definitely been through worse. 'Sides, I'll get over it."

"Eh! How, how -!" Haru leans over the counter and frantically points towards him, at a loss for words. She draws the attention of every other person there; even the cook gives her a sideways glance from his place near the stove. "H - how did you get that much chashu!"

"Oh, Ta - bo's friends with the manager." He says as he pushes most of the pork aside to actually get at the rest of the ramen. Kaito takes as much of the actual noodles as he can before moving the chashu back. "I just bum off his secret menu status."

"Don't you say that every time you get some weird thing that they don't offer up front?" Miyu sighs. She takes some of the pork out of her bowl and puts it into Haru's, which immediately quiets her down and rewards her with a kiss on the cheek. She shuffles her ramen around again, "Though with the way you talk about him, he seems kinda quiet."

"He doesn't seem like the friendliest guy, sure. He's just got this," Kaito pauses to take another another helping from the mountain of chashu, silently offering some up to Miyu after he's taken his piece. She shakes her head, he shrugs it off and continues, "This charisma, I guess. He's thoughtful, nice, pretty funny, but there's also just... I dunno how to say it, but it's part of his whole charm."

Haru and Miyu exchange a look he doesn't really understand. They whisper conspiratorially a little bit before Miyu chuckles, brushing her hair back behind her ear, smiling. "That's probably why you two became friends, huh?"

"Nah, we hated each other when we were young." He decides to disregard that, however obviously suspicious it is, and keeps talking. He chips away at the chashu again, "I ever tell you one of the first times we met I broke his nose?"

"No way!" Haru says as she leans out from behind her girlfriend. "That sounds so fake, like a movie or something. No way that's true."

"Yes way, it is," Kaito manages through a mouthful of pork. He points his chopsticks at her, "S'one of the highlights of our friendship. Twenty years strong."

"Well, I hope you apologized." Miyu sets her chopsticks against the side of her bowl. "You did... didn't you?"

"I mean, it was kinda on purpose." Miyu gives him a stern look as Haru bursts out laughing beside her. He scrambles for a way to salvage his side of the conversation, "Hey, I felt bad afterwards! Like... a year later."

"Kaito!" Miyu gasps. Haru laughs even harder, coughing, wheezing; she sounds like she's dying.

"We're friends now anyways! It'd be awkward to work out stuff like that," He huffs, taking another slice of pork. He gestures with his chopsticks in place of his hands. "We were just a couple stupid kids. Haven't talked about it since."

"If I'm being honest," Haru manages between slowly calming fits of laughter. She lets out a shaky sigh and picks up her chopsticks again, stabbing at her ramen with renewed murderous intent. "You did kind of seem like a thug, Kaito - san. No offense."

"None taken."

"But! You're very nice, despite appearances," She continues, taking far too much ramen in one go and making an excessive effort just to fit it in her mouth. Haru's voice is muffled, her mouth full, "All I'm saying is, I expected you to say something like that."

He shrugs, "I can accept that."

"I... didn't expect anything like that," Miyu says, sounding a little confused. She sets her chopsticks down and rests her cheek against her palm, elbow on the counter. "And I'm not really sure how or why you expected something like that, Haru."

"Isn't Kamurocho just like that?" She swallows, clearing her throat. "There's a fistfight every other minute. Guys getting shirtless on rooftops."

"Don't forget international scandal." He adds, idly stirring what's left in his bowl.

"International scandals," Haru adds.

"...Man." Miyu sighs, deflating a little. She taps her index finger against the side of her face. "What is up with this town? I swear, nothing makes sense here sometimes."

"Eh, isn't that what makes it fun, though?" Kaito takes the very last of his chashu and finishes chewing before he continues, setting his chopsticks on the counter. "There's always something new, always something crazy. Things're always going down, but it usually turns out okay in the end."

"Kamurocho's a, uh," Haru says as she drinks the broth from her ramen and wipes her arm on her sleeve. "A problematic fave for you, huh?"

"C'mon, don't make it weird."

"Just speaking the truth." She says matter of factly.

"However you put it, there's just," He taps his fingers against the counter, thinking. The two of them patiently wait for him to find the right words. "Something about all the crazy, y'know?"

"Like with Yagami, right?" Miyu says. Kaito hums his agreement, nodding, and she smiles a little wider, just barely. "Then I think I get what you're saying. I feel the same, too."

"Yeah. No matter what, I think," Haru sets her bowl down gently and rocks back into her chair. She winds a lock of hair around her finger, kicking her feet. "I wouldn't really want to leave."

"Same here. Don't know what I'd do if I wasn't in this city," He sighs, running a hand through his hair and stopping to feel the heat on his neck, there with no explanation. "Guess I'd just be lost."

"It's good that you've got people here for you, too." Miyu says. Haru makes a face he can't really place to anything specific beside her, smiling and rolling her eyes as she crosses her arms. "For me, the people are more important than the town will ever be."

"Yeah, I get that." He looks at the counter and scratches the base of his neck, hoping the heat will fade without being noticed by anyone else. "Guess that's kinda how it is for me, too."

"So if you ever do leave this town," Haru leans forward, "You better think hard about who you care about, so you can take them with you."

He tries to think about who he cares about and comes up with a relatively small list in his mind. But as he thinks, one name keeps coming up over and over again, like he's underlining it once, twice, five times. It sticks in his brain like it's written in bold red pen, bleeding through the paper of his mental notepad and tearing all the way down to the backing, traced each time he thinks it.

Kaito stops tapping the counter and balls up his fist, trying not to focus too much on the repeated content of his list. "Guess I should, huh."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i've got a pretty good idea of how the rest of the fic is gonna go - it's leaning towards being kind of cheesy, but i hope that doesn't make it any less enjoyable! there should be about fifteen chapters total.  
> i hope you're all enjoying the fic :]


	9. Get Well Soon, Daisy Dear

Kaito wakes up a few days later to find, while hovering over the coffee machine, that he's finally run out of coffee.

He really should've been keeping track of how much was left, seeing as how much he's been relying on it lately; and seeing how much he's been keeping track of other things, namely anything that could be affecting his sleep. He yawns. Today isn't off to a good start, and - he thinks, as he checks his phone - he hasn't even been awake for thirty minutes.

"I see you're finally awake, Kaito - san." Yagami says from behind him, but he's far too tired and far to used to it to be surprised. The man's mastered the art of complete silence, even while he's using crutches on tile. "Sleep well?"

"Well enough," He shrugs, stretching. His whole body feels sore, like he's been hit by a truck. The scar on his stomach itches, his gut twisting into knots. "How 'bout you?"

"Not bad. I had to have slept good to wake up before you," He chuckles a bit, nudging Kaito's ankle with the tip of his crutch. The back of Kaito's neck warms and the sound of his laugh, a little hoarse breath of air, warm and light. "First time for everything, though, right?"

"I - I guess." He looks down at his feet, rubbing the back of his neck as if the heat will all suddenly travel into his palm. He feels so stupid, and he doesn't know why, still. "You hungry?"

"Nah, I ate before you got up." He sets himself into one of the kitchen chairs as Kaito resigns his "only for coffee" mug to a different use, filling it halfway with barely cold tap water. "We're going to see your friends today, right? The one client and her girlfriend?"

"Yeah. They've been wanting to meet you for ages," He slowly sets himself into the chair across from Yagami and sighs, a long, deep breath. A smile creeps onto his face. "They act like you're some kinda celebrity 'cause of the ADDC case."

"I'll have big expectations to meet, then." Yagami idly kicks his leg, grazing Kaito's underneath the table. Kaito says nothing; the contact sends shivers up his spine, quietly sucking the air and all the words out of him. "Hope I don't disappoint."

"How could you, man? They only know what they saw on the news," He manages, no matter how hard his brain tries to shut down completely. Kaito scratches his face along the line of his chin. He really needs to shave again sometime soon. "And even if it was pretty badass, that's kinda just how you are."

"That's... high praise, Kaito - san." Yagami leans back in his chair, running a hand through his hair. Tight curls follow the curve of his head in an almost - buzzcut, the sides shorter than the top. Kaito likes it. Not as much as when it was longer and wavy, but it's nice. It looks good on him.

"Well, you deserve it. Someone's gotta talk you up," The words come out so easy now, his mind suddenly kicking back into gear. The warmth in his neck travels into his face, skin becoming hot beneath his hand. "And for now I guess it's gonna be me."

"Wow, my own one - man PR team."

"Well when you put it like that it just sounds weird." Kaito's hand goes to his neck again, which is heating up with embarrassment instead of its other, usual, unnamed reason. Yagami laughs again.

"Thanks, though," He smiles, wide enough to show his teeth and press his cheeks into his eyes. The scar on his forehead folds in the crease made by his lifted brows. "I appreciate the confidence boost."

"Hmph." Kaito huffs, resting his cheek on his hand. Yagami's lips aren't symmetrical, he notices. Not like he's staring or anything. "Nice to know I'm good emotional support."

"C'mon, don't pout." Yagami says, poking at his arm from across the small table. His expression falls from joking to kind and concerned, knit in his every feature. The scar twists again. "It's nice of you, I mean it."

Kaito waits a long time before he sighs, closing his eyes tight. He doesn't want Yagami feeling like he's done anything. Especially when it really isn't even remotely his fault. "I'm just fucking with you, man. I know."

"...Yeah." Yagami pulls away and folds his arms. The silence between them sits heavy on the tabletop, practically deafening. Once again, Kaito's not sure where he misstepped, even though he definitely feels like he did something wrong. His chest aches, almost. The pain gently ghosts over him, just barely there, teasing.

He takes a shaky breath and stands. "We're gonna, um. Leave in an hour or so."

"Right." Yagami says, not making eye contact. Kaito suddenly thinks he might be sick.

He leaves Yagami in the kitchen and throws himself face first into his bed, somehow still impossibly tired. He's got to pull together. He's got shit to do today, and he can't just go falling apart now. Not when he's already gotten this far.

\--

"Those your friends?" Yagami points out Haru and Miyu with a tilt of his head, both of them leaning against the side of Kamuro Theater. Miyu scans the crowd while Haru, beside her, stares down at her phone. "With the red jacket, and the one next to her."

"Yeah, that's them." Kaito pulls his coat tighter around himself. The dull sky, crammed full with swollen, nauseous grey clouds, promises rain. Haru looks up from her phone and immediately focuses on him, so he smiles and waves like he's only just noticed her.

"Kaito - san!" She calls, waving back. She gently elbows Haru in the side before tucking her phone in her pocket and straightening her posture. Kaito heads over, Yagami not far behind. "And you must be Yagami - san, right?"

"Yeah." He adjusts his crutches and holds out a hand, which she shakes with surprising enthusiasm. "Nice to meet you, uh..?"

"Kiyotama. Kiyotama Haru," Haru smiles, withdrawing her hand and moving to twist her hoodie string around her finger. "Nice to meet you too."

"And this is?" He asks as he shifts his weight, taking hold of his crutch again. Miyu gestures towards Kaito, and he realizes then that it would be more polite if he'd introduced the both of them in the first place.

"Ah, Ta - bo, this's Hasegawa Miyu." Kaito motions back towards her and gives her a look, trying to thank her for reminding him without saying anything about it. "Hasegawa - san, Yagami."

"Kaito's told us a lot about you, Yagami - san," Miyu smiles, brushing her hair behind her ear and shoving her free hand into her pocket. The wind blows cold and musses her bangs across her forehead. "It's nice to finally meet you."

"Only good things, I hope." Yagami chuckles, effortlessly slipping into conversation. Kaito watches him smile slightly, just enough for his cheeks to dimple. Just seeing him makes Kaito smile himself; this is how he manages to make so many friends, isn't it?

"Of course." Miyu realizes fixing her hair is a wasted effort and retires her other hand in her pocket, adjusting her jacket. "He thinks very highly of you, if you didn't know already."

"Is that so?" Yagami asks in that one voice he does with a question, playful and drifting just a little too high at the end. Kaito wonders if he does that on purpose, his ears starting to redden. "You've given me a reputation, Kaito - san."

"Guess I talk about you more than I realize, haha," He says in an attempt to shrug off the topic. He's too tired to be having this conversation. He's not sure he'll be able to really talk to Yagami about that ever, actually.

"And, he said you're a fan of Dice and Cube!" Haru says, wrapping her arms around Miyu's arm and pulling her close. Miyu lights up beside her, smiling wider. She continues, "Miyu here's practically obsessed with it."

"Really?" Excitement jumps into his voice almost instantly. "God, I can never find anyone who's into it."

"Me neither!" She laughs a little, ten times as animated. She retrieves a Play Pass from her pocket, as if to prove her participation, "I try to go every weekend or so. I never get many prizes, but it's still really fun!"

"I know, right?"

Miyu slowly drifts away from Haru, needing her arm free to keep making more and more excited gestures. Yagami smiles and nods, enraptured, having found someone who shares a special interest. He'd acted the same way when he first explained it to Kaito, and every time he talked about it after that. Kaito didn't really get it, sure, but he liked to see him so excited, liked to hear him talk and to just listen.

"I love it when she gets like this." Haru whispers without taking her eyes off the two of them, now moving into a debate on whether or not Koro - nyan is sentient. "Just listening to her talk makes me fall in love again."

"Ta - bo's never like this," He whispers back, folding his arms as he barely manages to suppress a bark of laughter as Yagami vividly regails Miyu with his experience with a square, virtual cat. "But it's great when he is. Nice seeing him so excited."

"Have you ever told him that?" She asks. Kaito slowly shakes his head. "Maybe you should. I tell Miyu all the time."

"You do?"

"Mhm. And every time I tell her she smiles and laughs," Miyu's face softens. She goes from playing with her hoodie string to teasing a lock of her hair around her pinkie, coiling it up and letting loose and repeating the process. "And I keep telling her because I want her to know I love her, but I also wanna hear her laugh, see her smile as much as I can."

Kaito wants to hear Yagami laugh, see him smile, but he's not sure he has the courage to tell him that. He waits a long moment before quietly saying, "Maybe I will."

\--

Kaito wakes up in the middle of the night covered in a thin film of cold sweat.

He's been having the same dream - at least, the parts he can remember are the same. Everytime he wakes up all he can remember is Yagami and black leather, and the clinical stink of a hospital room, red the color of blood and a white linoleum floor and a stinging pain in his side. He's not sure if it's a good dream or nightmare. It could be both.

Kaito peels himself off the couch and drags his hand across his face. He's not getting back to bed tonight. Might as well get something done; he can head over to Don Quijote and get some coffee for the machine.

He carefully slips into his bedroom and grabs a pajama shirt and the thinnest pair of sweats he can find, hoping he'll cool off eventually. Yagami is sleeping soundly in the bed, completely peaceful, quietly almost - snoring. His short hair splays out on the pillow and gently frames his face, a stray curl dangling down towards his brow.

Kaito wants to brush the hair from his face. He wants to sit by the bed and watch his chest rise and fall and just look. Just like every time he thinks something like that, Kaito restrains himself and doesn't act on it. He wants to, but he doesn't, and he doesn't even really know why he's so conflicted.

He promptly removes himself from the bedroom so he doesn't have to think about that anymore.

Kaito walks to Don Quijote, and the cold night air slowly does its work and clears the sweat from his forehead. His legs are still half asleep, and it takes him far too long to get there. He reaches into his pocket and finds enough loose change extra to probably get a taxi back. He rolls his shoulders and sighs. A jacket would be nice right about now.

He shuffles half dead past the cashier and makes a slow beeline towards where he knows the coffee should be on nothing but instinct. Kaito tiredly pulls a tin off the shelf and clutches it to his chest like someone'll take it from him. This threat will not be realized, seeing as there's no one else in the store.

"Rough morning?" The cashier asks, which means it's probably past midnight. Kaito hands the tin over with a grunt of agreement, holding back a yawn. He patiently waits until he's handed his bag. "Thank you. Have a good day."

"You too," He manages, slowly beginning to wake up.

The air feels even colder now that he's been inside for more than five minutes. The chill of night sobers him a little, making him straighten up and blink a few times. He yawns. God, he's tired.

Kaito realizes that it's not like he's tired because he can't sleep - these sleeping problems are relatively new, and his exhaustion is not. It feels like he can't sleep because of how tired he is, like something's constantly tugging on his mind and his body, making both sore. No matter how hard he tries he can't get a good night's sleep to save his life these days, no matter how badly he needs one.

Something settles heavy in the pit of his stomach at that thought. He needs to get himself figured out, and soon. Things're going to go back to normal, and he'll need to, too. His paper thin mental fortitude's not going to hold for very long at this rate.

As the weather turns sour, wind picking up, rain beginning to fall, the scar on the side of his stomach starts to faintly ache.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm going to be dm'ing a dnd session with some friends, so chapters may start coming a little slower as i get situated! however, i expect to finish the story within a month, if not by the end of this month.


	10. Honeyed Yellow Daffodil

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this one took so long! i had a rough time getting it all down, but i think i'm pretty happy with what i've got here.  
> as always, thank you for your patience, and for reading! i hope you enjoy :]

"Hey, can I, uh," Sugiura's voice is quiet through the reciever. Haru puts him on speaker, staring pointedly over the table at Miyu. She immediately stops what she's doing and the apartment falls completely silent. Sugiura takes a deep breath, "Can I talk to you and Hasegawa - san? In person, if possible."

"Sure," Haru says slowly, still keeping eye contact. She puts up one hand and gives a questioning look; Miyu shrugs in response. "When's good for you?"

"Anytime's fine. Today, if that works." He crackles over the speaker. "It's just... I wanna talk about something, but I don't wanna make it weird."

"Oh.... kay." Miyu nods, as understanding and knowing as ever. Haru doesn't quite get what she's trying to get at and rolls her eyes, adjusting her phone on the table. "Sure, whatever. Wanna meet up at, um... Alps? Chat over some coffee?"

"Yeah. Yeah, that's fine." He says, shakily exhaling for a long moment. He sounds torn between laughing and an anxious fit. "Sorry for coming out of the blue with this."

"Nah, it's okay. We're never doing anything anyway." Haru chuckles a little at Miyu's silent, affronted expression, hand over her chest in exaggerated offense. She hopes Sugiura doesn't get that on his end, and takes a deep breath to stop herself from giggling, "See you in half an hour?"

"Yeah. See you then."

"What was all that about?" Miyu asks, leaning against the counter behind her. She idly winds a lock of her hair around her index finger.

"No idea," She shrugs, putting her phone in her pocket. She pushes her chair back from the table and stands, stretching. "But I guess we're going out for coffee now. I better shower."

Miyu goes back to the her interrupted task, filling a pot of water for tea. "Want me to join you?"

"Not when we're on a schedule." Haru slips through the small space between the table and their couch and plants a kiss on Miyu's cheek, wrapping her arms around her and resting her head on her shoulder. "You're too distracting."

"I'll take that as a compliment," Miyu reaches up and runs her hand through Haru's hair, opening the box of tea with her free hand. "Now go get cleaned up." 

Haru presses her face into Miyu's neck, mumbling in protest, muffled by her hair. "Gimme a minute..."

"I'm distracting you right now, too, huh?" Haru chuckles. Miyu's hair is soft against her cheek, the skin of her neck pleasantly warm. "I love you, but if we're late I'm blaming you."

"Fine, fine." She pulls away and gives her one last kiss, then another last kiss. Before she can go for the third Miyu claps a hand over her mouth. She licks her palm; Miyu pulls away, laughing. "Don't worry, I'll be quick."

"I'll get my shoes on once you're out." She says, setting the pot on the stove but not setting it to boil yet. Miyu leans over and kisses her on the cheek, "See you in a bit, babe."

"For the ten to fifteen minutes I'm showering," Haru starts as she heads into their room. She's pretty sure the weather said it would be cold today - she steals a pair of sweatpants from Miyu's part of the dresser. She tucks her clothes under her arm and continues, "I'm gonna miss you so bad."

Miyu barks out a laugh once, loudly, and calls, "You'll live!"

As Haru turns the shower on all she can think about is how lucky she is. _You think that a lot_ , her brain tells her. _Only because it's true_ , she tells it right back. She's not sure where she'd be if she wasn't here right now. She's not sure what she'd do without Haru. It's almost strange.

 _You think that a lot_ , her brain says again. It's always been a traitor. She sighs, thinking again, snapping back at it in their one sided argument.

_Only because it's true._

\--

Sugiura is there in almost forty five minutes, not thirty, looking barely put together. He fixes the bottom of his jacket as he takes a seat, pulling it further down past the waistband of his ripped jeans. His left hand balls into a fist and gathers all the excess fabric in one spot above his hip.

"Sorry I'm late," He says. Satisfied with his clothes, he starts to fix his hair, pulling his bangs between his fingers until he's then satisfied with them. "Had to finish talking to another guy at the office."

"It's fine. So," Haru says, idly swirling the lukewarm coffee around in her cup. Miyu just now begins to drink her tea, which isn't nearly as hot as it was when it was served. "What did you wanna talk about?"

"It's, uh," Sugiura starts, playing with his hands. He taps the pads of his fingers together, then folds his hands, gently thumping them on the table. He clears his throat, awkward, "It's about Kaito - san."

"What's up?" Miyu sets her tea down before it's even reached her lips, leaning forward over the table. Concern knits deep into her, from every feature of her face, down to her hands and her fingers. "Did something happen?"

"No, it's just - this is probably gonna sound weird, but," He takes a deep breath, almost bracing himself, "I think Kaito - san's... gay..?"

Haru's eyes go wide. Her and Miyu can only say one thing, and say it in unison; "Huh?"

"It's just, with the way he's been acting with Yagami," Sugiura, hurrying to defend his earlier statement, doesn't even give them much time to be suprised. He unfolds his hands so he can gesture freely with them. "I mean, I remember what my first crush was like, and I'm pretty sure -"

"You mean he's not gay?" Haru interrupts him. Sugiura stops mid - sentence and stares at her, looking like he's in complete awe. His hands stop mid - gesture. It's like he's preserved in the moment, frozen in time.

"Did you," He says slowly, starting to thaw. "Already think he was gay?"

"If I'm being honest, I definitely thought so," Miyu says, playing with her hair. Her face turns a little pink, and she looks away in embarrassment. The blush quickly spreads onto her ears. "Is he not?"

"I - I think he is. He never told me, or anything," Sugiura replies, also looking a little bashful. He reddens and looks away just the same as Miyu, shrugging in a failed attempt to look casual. He runs a hand through his hair, "But I think he's really tearing himself up over Yagami - san, and I can't stand seeing him like this."

"So you're worried." Haru, not so easily made uneasy, continues the conversation. Sugiura nods. "Why don't you just ask him, though?"

"Ah, I'm no good with this stuff!" He shakes his head, waving his hands to try and stress his alledged ineptitude. His eyes are shut tight, his face still edging closer towards a cherry tone. "Besides, if he is, I feel like he'll need someone to relate to. I don't... y'know."

"I... think I get what you're trying to say," Miyu tucks a stray lock behind her ear, slowly getting over the sudden awkward hurdle. Across from her, Sugiura isn't recovering nearly as quickly. "We could probably talk to him about it. Right?"

Haru nods.

"If we end up being right, then I might kinda know how he feels." Haru thinks about the years she spent avoiding and bottling and rejecting her own thoughts and feelings. It hurt, and it hurt for a long, long time; she's more than happy to be free of that now. "It wouldn't hurt to try and work things out."

"Thank you so much," Sugiura's face has finally returned to its normal hue. He slowly bows his head, serious, palms resting flat on his thighs, "Sorry to put this on you all of a sudden, but I don't know if I can really help too much."

"It's no big deal." Haru gives him the best smile she can muster once he raises his head. He visibly relaxes, his full - body tension beginning to lessen. "Gotta look out for each other, especially in times like these."

"Still, thanks. I'll make it up to you somehow, promise."

"Well..." Haru says, thinking as she twirls a hoodie string around her finger; she idly runs her finger along the rim of her now - nearly empty cup. Sugiura looks up at her expectantly. She smiles, coy, and cocks her head to one side, "The least you could do is buy me a coffee."

\--

  
This morning's coffee manages to bring Kaito to life a little bit, but the bitter bite of caffeine isn't quite enough to fully pull him from the throes of sleep.

Yagami's at one of his last therapy sessions today, leaving the apartment feeling empty once more. Soon it'll be like this every day, he thinks. Soon Yagami'll be able to head back to his own place, and he won't have a reason to hang around so closely anymore. That's supposed to be a good thing, yet Kaito only finds himself dreading it.

Maybe he should actually get some work done today. He feels like an ass for not helping out more, even if Sugiura and Higashi can handle themselves. He really ought to start pulling his weight again, especially since Yagami'll be getting back to work soon. If he got caught seriously slacking by Yagami he'd probably die on the spot out of shame.

Kaito drags himself to the taxi stand down the street and fixes his jacket around him, a cold wind pulling on the back of his coat. He quickly looks himself over in the taxi window, examining his messy beard and the bags beneath his eyes as he turns his face in his hand. The driver doesn't give him a second glance as he slips into the cab; she's probably seen her fair share of punks and drunkards in far worse shape.

Kaito musters a small smile and a quiet, hoarse thanks once she leaves him on Tenkaichi, rubbing an eye with the back of his hand as he walks towards the office. The cold is keeping a good chunk of pedestrians inside, the crowd smaller than usual. The city seems to rumble a little quieter, bustling a little less. It doesn't feel like it's dead or anything - more like it's just sleeping. Funny, for a so called city that never sleeps.

"Ah, Kaito - san, hey." Sugiura says as he stands from the couch, a thin stack of papers in his hand. He looks over to Higashi, who's leaning against the desk, then back to the doorway. "We were just going through appointments and stuff."

"How's it looking for today?" Kaito pushes the hanger holding Sugiura's denim jacket out of the way so he can hang up his coat. He rolls his shoulder, sore and stiffer than usual. "Any busy?"

"Not really. Jobs have been going down recently," Higashi sighs and crosses his arms, shrugging. "Guess Yagami's popularity couldn't carry us forever.

"We have one client coming in today. Name's Suto Takaji," Sugiura hands off the first paper from his stack to Kaito, moving to pin the rest to the corkboard behind the tea pot. He nods in Kaito's direction, stretching to be able to fit all the notices on the board, "That's the request he gave to Masuda - san."

"All it says is that he's worried about his daughter. Not much to go off, so," Kaito starts. He hates these bare - bones notices, but at least the guy's offering a little above the usual rate. He folds up the sheet and tucks it in his pocket. "Guess we'll just have to find out what he needs once he gets here."

"Shouldn't be too long now." Higashi still manages to look out of place in the office, not really knowing where to stand. Kaito realizes now that Higashi's only just started settling in, to both the office and to their group. "He called just before you came in."

"Alright." Kaito meanders his way over to the desk and grabs that pack of cigarettes he always forgets to take with him. Out of the corner of his eye, Higashi starts to reach for his lighter out of habit. Kaito grabs his first. "Guess I'll stick around, then."

He takes a long, deep breath. The smoke warms his mouth and his tongue and is a familiar taste. He keeps forgetting to keep a pack with him, and usually ends up regretting it once he starts to get the itch. A thin grey cloud fills the air in front of him. Light filters in through the dirty windows and the blinds, catching bright white on floating dust.

The office fan spins too slow to actually cool anything. The smoke aimlessly drifts through the office, the cloud slowly thinning further.

"So, uh," Kaito rolls his cigarette between his fingers, realizing he's been quiet for a little too long. He turns away from the desk and faces the other two. "Anything interesting happen lately?"

Sugiura glances towards Higashi and slips his hands into his hoodie pocket. "Not really."

"Yeah, without you or Yagami around, business has really slowed." Higashi looks back at Sugiura, making a face Kaito doesn't really understand. He looks back to Kaito before he continues, "Not like we're scraping by or anything, though. It's a nice change of pace."

"Probably gonna change once Ta - bo's back on his feet." He ignores their exchanged eye contact and huffs, letting out another puff of smoke. Kaito laughs a little, "This city's got eyes everywhere. Soon as it sees him around people'll probably come running."

"I'm gonna hold you to that theory, Kaito - san." Sugiura says, lightening up a little. He brushes his bangs back, adjusting his hair like always. "Don't think I'd bet on it, though."

"Wise choice." Higashi smiles a little, also softening. It's almost like their strange nearly - staring contest never happened. Barring that, it's nice to see him a little more carefree. "Aniki's got crazy good luck. Always wins big on any table he's at."

"Making me sound like some kinda god." He tosses the short, ashy dregs of his cigarette into the trash can next to the desk. Kaito's tempted to reach for another but immediately decides against it once he looks in the box. "But, fine. I'll take the compliment."

Sugiura smiles from behind the couch, "Good, 'cause it's true."

"Oh, I'm sorry to interrupt, but," The door slowly opens to reveal a thin man with greying black hair, so small it looks like his winter coat might swallow him. He pushes the door open a little further, leaning on the handle. "Is this the Yagami Detective Agency?"

Kaito shifts into customer service mode without even thinking. "Are you Suto - san?"

"So I am in the right place." He smiles and lets himself in, gently shutting the door behind him. "And you're, Yagami..?"

"Ah, sorry. I'm Kaito, and this is Sugiura - san and Higashi - san." He gives a curt bow and motions to the other two, moving towards the coffee table. Sugiura steps aside and takes a seat on the couch cushion closest to the door. "Let's talk about the notice you put out."

"Of course. I'm sorry for being so vague," Suto says as he lowers himself into the chair across from them. Kaito sits next to Sugiura, while Higashi goes back to leaning against the desk. "But I didn't want to give all the details to just anyone. It's a, um... a personal matter."

"No worries. So," He claps his hands together, watching Suto settle in and shrug off his coat. "Why'd you put out the notice? It says something about trouble with your daughter?"

"Yes. My daughter, Tomijo, she's got a new boyfriend." He begins, somehow looking more worried than he did when he first came in. "And I only had to look around a little to find that he's been caught cheating more than once."

"And what has your daughter said?" Sugiura asks. "About him, I mean."

"She likes him. Says he's different now," Suto sighs, wringing his hands. Without his jacket he looks even smaller. "And he says the same thing, but... but I just want to be sure."

"Alright. No harm in that." People usually come worried about their spouses, or money, not their children. It's actually kind of refreshing to see this sort of concern. "You should be ready for either outcome, though."

"Of course, of course. I just," He takes a deep breath, shoulders rising dramatically. They fall in one big sigh, "I want her to be happy. It doesn't matter what you find out, I just don't want her to get hurt."

"Right. Gonna need the money up front," Kaito says. Suto reaches into the pocket of his dress pants and hands over a crinkled, pale blue envelope, lightly weighted; he tosses the envelope down on the table. "And some info to go off of."

"His name is Yuuma Inosuke. He works at... Kanrai, that barbecue place on Shichifuku. I..." He says after some thought. Suto shifts uncomfortably in his seat, looking like he wants to say something. It takes him a minute to actually find the words, "I heard he's been caught by detectives before, more than once."

"Just makes our job harder." Higashi grumbles. He turns towards Suto - who visibly tenses - and, after eyeing him for a moment, simply nods his head. "Thanks for the warning."

"It's... no trouble at all," He lets out a long sigh of relief. Suto begins to gather himself and his things, pulling his coat on and disappearing into the white nylon once again. "Please, call me as soon as you find anything."

"Of course." Kaito steps outside and holds the door open for him. The customer service smile comes on, and he gives a short bow to him as he leaves. "You stay safe, now."

"The same to you, Kaito - san." He waves from the bottom of the stairs and pulls his jacket tighter with his free hand. "Good luck to all of you!"

Kaito sighs, finally relaxing, suddenly very, very tired. He closes the door behind him and grabs the envelope off the table; inside is a thick stack of five thousand yen notes. A single skinny rubber band holds them all together, straining across the middle of the notes.

"If this Yuuma guy's any bit as cautious as his track record implies," Sugiura says from his place on the couch, kicking his feet up on the coffee table. Kaito gives him a pointed look and he brings his shoes back to the floor, clearing his throat, "We're probably not gonna be able to catch him without Yagami."

"You're... probably right." Kaito tucks the wad of yen back into the envelope and moves to set it on the desk, Higashi clearing out of his way. He sighs again. "I'll tell him when I get back home tonight."

Sugiura looks from Higashi to Kaito again. "Alright. Wanna call it quits for today?"

"If it's okay with you two." Kaito ignores that glance, too. He's been ignoring a lot of things lately. Sugiura just shrugs beside him.

"Fine by me. Just," Higashi tucks his hands in his pockets, leaning against the corner of the desk. "Don't wear yourself out, Aniki."

"I'm thirty seven, Higashi. I'm a big boy," He mocks, already headed towards the door. Kaito rubs the back of his neck, feeling sore. He turns back to the two of them, both still looking worried. "I'll be fine, don't worry. You know I can handle myself."

"Right." Higashi says. Kaito turns to leave.

Just as the door closes behind him, he hears Sugiura start to whisper, "Sure, he can handle himself, but are we sure he can handle Yagami - san much longer?"

\--

  
Kaito wanders. He goes from bar to bar, taking a drink or two at most at each before heading to the next one. A visit to the Champion District, his final destination, finally leaves him feeling warm and a little buzzed. Head comfortably fuzzy, he begins to make his way towards the taxi stand past the harsh glow of neon lights.

It only gets darker in the time it takes for him to get back to his apartment. He fumbles with his keys for a little bit before finally sluggishly shouldering the door open.

"Late night at the office, Kaito - san?" Yagami asks from his place on the couch. He sets his phone on his lap, shifting around where he's sitting. A smile becomes barely present on his face.

"Nah, I was just wasting time." Kaito shrugs off his coat and kicks his shoes off near the door. "Do have something to talk about, though."

Yagami seems both suprised and expectant. "Oh?"

"Got a new case today," He watches as Yagami deflates a little, excitement fading. Kaito takes note of that fact, and decided to ignore it, like most suspicious things from the past few days. He sits down next to him, leaning back. "Don't think we're gonna be able to do it by ourselves, though. Guy's way too suspicious, and none of us are as discreet as you."

"That's true." Yagami says, folding his arms and cocking his head to one side, looking away in thought. "But if push comes to shove, even once I can walk, I'm probably not gonna be able to fight."

"I'll go with you, then. Coach me through it," Kaito snakes his arm around the back of the couch. He might be wrong, but it almost looks like Yagami starts to lean into him. "Higashi and Sugiura can watch from a distance and step in if it goes to shit."

"Look at you, finally coming up with a plan." Yagami gently elbows him in the side.

"I know, right?"

"I'm..." Yagami pauses, still looking off. Arms still crossed, he tucks his hands into his armpits, leaning a little further. Kaito freezes as the nape of his neck brushes against his arm, the stuble of his short hair tickling against his skin. "It's good to know you've got my back, Kaito - san."

"Yeah, well," He's getting warmer again, but not from the alcohol this time. There's a look on Yagami's face that he can't read. He's not sure he wants to, he thinks, and he huffs and turns away without moving the rest of his body, "Just don't forget that, 'kay?"

"Right. I mean," Yagami smiles, expression softening. "How could I ever?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this fic may end up longer than fifteen chapters. i'm debating on how much fluff i should be putting in...  
> if you have any requests for future fics, or suggestions for future chapters, feel free to comment! thanks again for reading, and i hope you enjoy.


	11. And The Rose..?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a face to face talk between emotionally aware lesbians and a very confused, oblivious gay man.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry if this feels ooc, but i love characters that are always so serious or "tough guy" being tender and open. i think that if given no other outlet, kaito'd show a lot more subtle affection - of course he's still very physical with it, too.

Kaito wakes up to the sound of his phone's text tone.

_do you mind if me and haru come over?_

It's getting close to noon, and the sun is already filtering in through the window, blinding. He blinks a few times to clear the sleep from his eyes and stretches, somehow mysteriously sore. He's tired. Why is he always so tired?

_sure._  
_you just missed yagami, though. might wanna come a little later_

_it's fine. just want to talk about something._

That honestly doesn't make it sound fine. Recently Kaito's begun doubting that he's not a worried person, mostly because of situations like this, and maybe that's a problem with him. He's not sure how stuff like this isn't supposed to make him worry, though.

_ok_  
_see you in a few hours?_

_yeah. see you then_

Kaito sighs and sets his phone on his chest, falling back onto the couch. He should probably clean himself up a little bit. Maybe actually shave for the first time in a week. He runs his hand across his face again and feels rampant stubble, itching against his palm.

The promise of a hot shower eventually drags him to his feet.

  
\--

It's around two in the afternoon when he gets another text, this time with a picture of his apartment door from down the hallway. There's a thumb in the corner of the screen.

_this one's yours, right??_

He looks the room over and is mostly satisfied with how much he's cleaned. He looks himself over and fixes the sleeves of his shirt, trying to judge whether he's presentable or not. With a tired sigh mostly directed at himself, he heads over and opens the door.

"Kiyotama - san."

"Kaito - san, hey!" Haru smiles, tucking her phone in her pocket. Miyu waves from behind her, her ears and cheeks pink from the cold. She huddles against Haru, clutching her by the arm, and Haru pulls her closer before continuing, "It's been a minute, huh?"

"Yeah. Good to see you again," Kaito messes with his sleeve one last time for good measure. He thumbs the white button on his cuff, then remembering hospitality steps aside and further into the apartment, "Oh, come on in. You can just leave your shoes by the door."

"Wow, you and Yagami - san share this apartment?" Miyu asks as she bends down to untie her boots, taking stock of the main room. She stands, moving her boots away from the door, "It's very... cozy."

"It's not too bad," He shrugs, setting his hand on the tabletop and leaning against it. His hand wanders to the pocket where his cigarettes would be, and yet again they're nowhere to be found. "He's gonna be moving back to his place soon anyway."

Miyu shrugs off her coat and folds it in half, setting it over one of the kitchen chairs, "Oh, he lives somewhere else?"

"Yeah, in his office. It's not the best living space, though," Kaito sighs, leaning back on his other hand, socked heels digging into the floor and sliding just a little. "Think this has been the first time he's slept in an actual bed in a while."

"That sounds awful," Haru's voice is sympathetic to an almost painful degree as she grimaces, toeing off her hi tops. "I don't think I could live in the same place I'd entertain company daily."

"He usually gets out pretty often, but yeah," Kaito stands and rolls his shoulder as Miyu settles into her seat, Haru soon following suit. He waits until they're both sat down before taking his own seat. "Detective work's unsteady pay. I've only got my own place because I kinda got a head start."

"Maybe you guys'll get a case from a real high roller sometime soon." Haru says, folding her hands. Miyu moves her seat closer to her girlfriend, leaning against her, face still twinged faintly pink. 

"Have you considered putting up a lucky cat?" Miyu asks, brown hair cascading over Haru's shoulder and down her chest. "I think I saw one of the battery ones at Don Quijote the other day."

"We have a daruma on the shelf," He adds. Haru brushes Miyu's hair out of her face only for it to fall right back; Miyu shifts to avoid this. Kaito continues, "But still, it's not like company execs come to Kamurocho to do anything other than blow their cash at clubs."

Miyu chuckles, "Maybe you're right."

"Oh, what about that one finance guy? The one who's in the news every couple years." Haru taps her chin in thought, cocking her head to one side and pressing her ear against the top of Miyu's head in the process. "Maybe he'll have some issue for you to look into one of these days."

"Didn't that guy end up on the news because he was fighting with a bunch of yakuza?" Kaito says, and Haru deflates a little with a sigh, pouting; that's definitely a yes. "Dunno if I wanna get involved in the kind of trouble he'd have."

"...I guess not." She huffs, folding her arms on the table. She digs her chin into her forearm with yet another sigh, "Well, worth a shot."

"Maybe another millionaire'll move into town someday," Miyu consoles, patting her defeated girlfriend on the back with a laugh, "And they'll be in trouble up to their ears."

"Won't find me complaining." Kaito's hand goes to his mouth and doesn't find a cigarette. The itch digs at the back of his mind and claws at him, and he makes a mental note to buy in bulk next time. "You probably didn't come just to hear about my problems, though. Said you had something to talk about?"

"About that." Haru says, lifting her head from the table. She pulls her folded arms close to her chest, straightening her posture, "We actually did come to talk about you, Kaito - san."

"You did?"

"Well, you and Yagami. Sugiura said," She takes a deep breath, shoulders rising. Miyu fixes her hair beside her. "That we should talk to you."

"Has something been on your mind lately?" Miyu asks, growing more concerned by the second. She moves to reach over the table and suddenly, slowly pulls away, continuing, "Since Yagami went to the hospital?"

"I've just been worried about him, is all. Nothing more to it." So maybe he's panicking a little; he didn't think he was that obvious. "I just don't want this to weigh him down too much."

"Kaito - san..." Haru looks down and furrows her brows, face turning intense in an instant. She looks back to him, more determined than ever, eyes boring into him. "Are you in love with Yagami?"

It's not what he expected; in fact, he didn't really know what to expect at all. He can barely muster enough brain power to mumble, "What?"

"It's just that... you remind me too much of how I was a few years back, when I was figuring myself out," She starts, face slowly turning more sad than angry. She plays with her hair, twisting it intona tight coil around her thumb. "And even Sugiura says you remind him of how he was when he had his first crush."

"And the way you talk about Yagami, you just, light up." Miyu adds, leaning both over the table and closer to Haru. "It's kind of cute how much you care about him - and really obvious that he's important to you."

"I don't..." Kaito starts, trying to figure the feeling that's been seated at the back of his head and the base of his neck and in the warmth in his cheeks. "I don't know? Is - is that how it's supposed to feel?"

"I mean, there's no way it's supposed to feel," Haru shrugs, the emotion in her face slowly calming, "So me and Miyu can't do anything but guess. It's kind of up to you on this one."

"I haven't really felt like... this," He gestures into the air, indicating nothing. The feeling itself is a nameless heat that moves to wherever it's most unwelcome, mostly without any warning. Is it right to call that love? "I'm not saying it's bad or anything, I'm just... not really sure."

"I guess the best thing is that you don't have to be sure." Miyu says, wrapping her arm around Haru's and pulling her close. "It's how you feel, so I don't think it has to be anything concrete."

"I mean, what do you feel about him?" Haru asks. "We've heard you talk some, but what do you think about Yagami?"

"...It's stupid."

"Nuh - uh, no way!" Haru slams her hands on the table, pushing her chair back with her leg and immediately standing up. She jabs her pointer finger towards his chest, pointing again for emphasis, "I thought the same thing and ended up not asking Miyu out for years. I'm not letting you just dismiss your feelings like that!"

She sighs and lowers herself back into her chair with a thump.

"Talking helps, trust me. Maybe being honest with us can help you try and be honest with yourself. So," Haru says, leaning back and crossing her arms tightly across her chest. "How do you feel about him?"

"He's... I like the way his mouth is lopsided, and the way a cigarette or the end of a pencil fits between his lips," He takes a deep breath and smiles at the thought. Each word builds Yagami in his mind, down to every fine, minute detail. The mental image seems to be fully alive, becoming more and more fleshed out as he gushes without restraint. "I like how his cologne's good on him, but actually sucks. I wanna touch his hair. And I want him around, like, all the time."

"Wow," Miyu blinks a few times, then giggles, "Haru's the same way! Once I she starts talking about me she just can't stop."

"It's your choice, Kaito - san, but," Haru says, elbowing Miyu in the side and getting another laugh in return. "That sounds a lot like love to me. Have you ever told Yagami all that?"

"...No." He lets out a breath he wasn't aware he wad holding, shoulders slumping a little. "I guess I could. Maybe. Eventually."

"You don't have to right away, of course. Or at all, if you don't want to." Miyu sets her hand out on the table like she's holding his, giving support without even touching him. Kaito idly runs his thumb along his belt. "I can't tell you how to live your life, but I think you should what makes you happy."

"I... think I wanna tell him," He manages, the embarrassment of saying all that out loud now catching up to him. "Mostly because I don't think I'll be able to keep it to myself for too long."

"Don't let us pressure you into it." Miyu's voice is soaked with an almost motherly concern. "If it's what you want, go for it, but don't if it's not."

"...Yeah, I wanna do this." Kaito says after some thought, brain still struggling to keep up.

"Good. Ah -" Haru startles as her phone loudly goes off, playing an obnoxious alarm tone that sounds like it belongs on a flip phone. She pulls out her phone and her eyes widen, "Shit, we're gonna be late! Sorry, Kaito - san, but we gotta go."

"It's cool. And," He folds his hands on the table, watching them stand up to leave. Miyu seems calm as ever as she collects her coat and slips on her boots, while Haru's working herself into a panic beside her. They both freeze at the sound of his voice, "Thanks. For dealing with me."

Haru smiles, throwing open the door, "Any time! We gotta stick together, y'know?"

"Call us if you have any boy problems!" Miyu calls as she follows her girlfriend, who's probably already halfway down the hall by the sound of it.

Kaito kicks his feet up against the table and leans his chair back, looking up at the ceiling. He's still sorting through every part of that conversation, trying to fully process it all; mostly what he said just then. Yagami's been in his brain ever since the ADDC, maybe even before then. The warmth starts to flow into the back of his neck once more.

Love, huh?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i promise i'll have cute relationship stuff by next chapter, trust me! thank you all so much for reading this far, and i hope you enjoy :]


	12. Rose, Please Hold Me Close

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> big man lets out his big crush! this is based mostly on my experiences with coming out, so i hope it seems real enough for all of you reading!  
> please enjoy :]

"Gonna do it today," Kaito says as he wipes the steam off the bathroom mirror. His reflection echoes back the sentiment, locking tired eyes with his. He runs a hand along his beard, now neatly trimmed, and points sternly at his reflection, "I'm gonna tell him today."

He sighs and leans over the counter, resting his hands on the sides. Kaito stays there a moment before turning on the sink and throwing cold water on his face, chasing away the pleasant warmth from his shower.

"Ta - bo, you," He rehearses, looking up at the mirror. Only his own face looks back at him, awkwardly clearing his throat and starting again, "Ta - bo, I wanted to say that I... I like you."

His reflection puts his head in his hands, pink skin that's quickly turning redder visible between his fingers. He feels so stupid, wet hair plastered to his forehead, standing half naked in front of the bathroom counter. Kaito's not sure when he became such a mess, but he definitely wasn't like this when they first met.

He's been stewing on what Miyu and Haru said, rolling the idea of being in love around in his head ever since. It's snowballed over a few days and dominated his every thought; he hasn't been back to the office since their talk, either. He probably wouldn't be able to focus at all if he did.

Yagami's coming back home in a few hours. Kaito better be ready by the time he does, or else he's never going to get this off his chest.

"I like you, Ta - bo. Like you." He tries again, slowly enunciating each word, not watching the mirror this time. Should he be making eye contact? Kaito takes a deep breath and lifts his head, cheeks still cherry red. "I like you. I love you. ...I love you, Ta - bo."

He just doesn't want to mess it up. The thought of twenty odd years of friendship ending with a conversation that lasts five awkward minutes makes his gut twist into knots. He's been shot, threatened at gunpoint, and attacked hundreds of times, and yet he's never been more nervous than he is right now.

"This is stupid," He mumbles, running a hand through his hair. His reflection, still red in the face, doesn't disagree with him. Kaito locks eyes with the mirror again with yet another long, slow breath, "I love you, Ta - bo. I love you."

Just thinking about how long he'll have to keep that to himself - even if it's only a few hours - makes him want to rip his hair out.

\--

Kaito sits at the kitchen table and stares at the door. His heart rests heavy in his throat, vacating his chest and leaving it almost painfully light. He hasn't said a word, let alone even seen Yagami yet, and his face is already warm in anticipation. The waiting should be the easiest part, but it feels like he's being eaten from the inside out; if it's this hard just sitting here, how difficult is it going to be to get the words out?

He's not really sure how long it's been once the door opens, but it feels like it's been hours.

"Kaito - san? You home?" Yagami calls half - heartedly as he shoulders the door open. Kaito practically jumps out of his seat, standing up the instant he hears his voice. Yagami either doesn't notice or doesn't mention it, looking over to him, "Oh, hey. Office not busy today?"

"Not enough to need me around," He says, slipping right into conversation as easy as ever. The lump his in throat settles less uncomfortably for a moment, "You do alright today?"

"Yeah. One more session and I should be off crutches," He nods, easing himself into the chair across from Kaito's. Kaito follows suit and awkwardly sits back down. "Then I can help wrap up that case you were talking about the other day."

"Be good to have you back," Kaito says, and he means it. He chuckles a little, "No offense to them, but Sugiura and Higashi can't really compare."

Yagami slowly gets that small, playful smile, raising an eyebrow, "And you can?"

"Don't call me out, man." Kaito huffs. Yagami laughs, which makes his heart soar like it always does. It's then that he remembers what he'd been so worried about all day; his face falls, and he falls quiet.

"Hey, what's up?" Kaito looks up to see Yagami's face twisted with worry, one hand reaching across the table towards him. "Something wrong?"

"N - no, it's just," He can already feel his face getting red, the heat starting strong at his back. Kaito claps a hand over the back of his neck, as if that'll make him less embarrassed, and lets the words out on a breath, "I've got something to tell you."

"...Go ahead."

"When... when we were at the ADDC, and I saw what Kuroiwa did to you, I," Kaito takes a long, deep breath to pace himself, words coming out sloppy, too fast. He breathes again, and again, and finally manages to continue despite how hot his cheeks feel, "I dunno. Something changed. Changed the way I felt about you, and I realized something."

Kaito meets Yagami's hand halfway, holding it from across the table. Water pricks at the corners of his eyes, lingering no matter how hard he tries to blink it away. He pauses, taking another deep breath. His face feels like it's on fire.

"I -" He somehow has the strength to lock eyes with Yagami. "I love you, Ta - bo."

"You..." Yagami freezes. His eyes go wide, mouth just barely hanging open. He fumbles for words, lips opening and closing without a sound before he mumbles, "You love me?"

Kaito nods, looking away. Beneath his skin his blood is molten.

"Oh my god," Yagami laughs, sounding out of breath; Kaito looks up at sees him running a hand through his hair with a smile on his face. "I thought this whole time, I was..."

It's not the certainly not the negative reaction he'd expected, but he still can't quite read it. He stares down at the table and traces a grain in the wood with his gaze, awkwardly rubbing his neck, feeling defeated. Yagami suddenly grabs his hand, and Kaito's head shoots up.

He laughs again, a warm sigh, pink in the cheeks, and says, "I love you too."

Kaito feels the tears coming before they've left his eyes. He leans over the table, roughly pulling Yagami forward by their held hands, and kisses him, noses awkwardly colliding.

It only lasts a second before Kaito pulls away, hand over his mouth, "Oh god, was that too sudden?"

"No, it's fine." Yagami, still smiling, reaches out for him. "C'mere."

Kaito has to stand up out of his seat to get close enough for Yagami to wrap his arms around his neck. He eases into it slowly, turning his head so his nose slots against Kaito's cheek and beneath his eye. His lips are warm, chapped. Kaito breathes out a little sigh and rests his hands on the table for support, leaning in.

"Not bad." Yagami mumbles, turning his head, lips brushing against Kaito's as he speaks. His hand runs along the line of Kaito's chin, his eyes half open, "You been practicing?"

"Oh, shut up," Kaito laughs. He can't stop smiling long enough to keep kissing him, their foreheads pressed together. He purses his lips and laughs before they can meet again. He wipes his eye with the knuckle of his forefinger, still crying, still laughing. His face aches from smiling too much and too wide.

"So," Yagami says between each burst of laughter, both of them spurred on by each other."How long did you know?"

"Felt it for a month or so, maybe. It came on strong after the ADDC, but," He sighs, feeling Yagami running a hand through his hair. Kaito shuts his eyes and leans forward a little further, "It must've been there even before then. Probably since we were kids."

"Mhhn. Think I've loved you since then, too." Yagami chuckles, crooked lips grinning and showing barely crooked teeth. His nose brushes against Kaito's. "It started way after you broke my nose, though."

"What about that whole thing with Mafuyu - chan?" Kaito asks, pulling away; the table's been digging into him just above his hip. Yagami's hands rest limply near his neck.

"It was real. Never really worked out, though," He says, voice twinged just barely bittersweet. Yagami shrugs, "Besides, her and Saori are together now."

Kaito blinks. "They are?"

"Have been for over a year, I think." He pauses, giving Kaito a pointed look from across the table. "Did you really not know?"

Kaito hesitates, folding his arms. "...And if I said I didn't?"

"C'mon, man." Yagami smiles and shakes his head. He reaches for his crutches, but Kaito stands and stops him, setting them back against the table. He looks up at him, "What?"

"Can I -" His face flushes red again as he rests a hand on the table, shifting his weight to one side. He's used to it by now; in the past month, embarrassment has practically become his new normal. "Can I carry you?"

"Like, bridal style?" He nods. Yagami gestures towards the whole of him, leaning back in his chair, "Knock yourself out."

He's not particularly heavy - especially since he's been a little smaller without constant heavy exercise and upkeep. He wraps his arms around Kaito's neck and snuggles up to him, resting in his arms like he was made to fit there, like he's always belonged there. His hair itches Kaito's chin as he rests his head against his shoulder.

Kaito sits on the far end of the couch and Yagami lays out, situating himself so his head is on his lap. Kaito runs a hand through his hair, tempted to go for another kiss.

"So, should I give you a nickname, too?" Yagami asks. He's still pink in the cheeks, both of them warm and giddy in the thrall of a post - confession and acceptance high. "Maybe... Ma? No, um... Masa? Masa - chan?"

Kaito freezes - he's pretty sure his entire face must be beet red with how hot it feels. Yagami breaks into a wry, ear to ear grin, reaching up and holding Kaito by the sides of his head, fingers behind his ears.

"That's a good one, huh? Masa - chan," He teases, pressing a thumb into his cheek. Kaito reddens even further, his brain shutting down. "Guess I'll have to use that one sparingly."

"C'mon," He hisses half heartedly, because the attention and the contact isn't unwanted. Their banter is the same as ever, just with more blushing on his part. It's like nothing's even changed. "Now you're just doing it on purpose."

"Aw, Masa - chan." Yagami says, still poking fun. He leans back as much as his brace allows and puts a hand over his forehead, face filled with mock grief, "I can't believe you'd accuse me of something like that. And here I thought you loved me."

"Already with the guilt trip," Kaito sighs, rolling his eyes. Yagami chuckles on his lap, letting go of Kaito's face and resting his hands on his stomach. "You gonna blackmail me?"

"Maybe. Not like you would tell anybody, right?"

"Guess not. Not like I would mind it, though," Kaito hums, finally relaxing a little, heat subsiding. He cocks his head to one side, idly running a hand through Yagami's hair. His fingers gently brush against scar tissue once he reaches the back of his head. "Not if it was you. Besides, there's nothing you can really blackmail me with."

"Not yet." He says, which would maybe be at least little threatening coming from anyone else in any other circumstance; Yagami's face and voice - his everything, really - serves to make it endearing. Kaito laughs. "I've loved you for a long time, though. Maybe I'll think of something."

"That so?" Yagami nods, folding his arms across his chest. Kaito straightens, putting on exaggerated, fake indignation, "And why didn't you think to share that with me, Detective?"

"Okay, this is gonna sound mean, but - look at you," Yagami says, gesturing towards the whole of him. Kaito gives him a confused look, not really offended but wanted an explanation. The man on his lap points at his chest, "Sorry, but the gayest thing about you is your shirt."

"Ouch. Can't really argue, though." He shrugs, considering the rest of his wardrobe and finding it agrees, for the most part. "I'm just surprised I ended up making the first move."

"You kinda always were the braver one."

"I'm not so sure about that. But," Kaito takes a deep breath, looking down at Yagami lying across his lap. His heart swells in his chest, leaving him uncharacteristically warm and fuzzy, happy just at the thought of being with Yagami for a long, long time. "I'm just glad I was brave enough to do it at all."

Yagami looks past him at the ceiling, running a hand through his hair, and smiles. "So am I."


	13. The Sunflower Reaches For The Sun (Duh)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> damn, sorry this took so long! i've been in a rough spot lately, so writing this was really tough... but fortunately this one turned out really long, so i hope you enjoy.  
> also if you're wondering about the chapter count, i decided to cut a chapter that felt mostly like filler. i'll be writing it as a seperate short work once i'm done with this one :]

Kaito doesn't want to get out of bed this morning, either - only this time, it's because Yagami's beside him, their shared warmth trapped beneath the covers, his head resting on his shoulder.

He takes a long, slow breath through his nose and turns to face him, curly black hair obscuring half his view. Kaito squints as the clouds shift outside the window and let the sun shine through the curtains. A thick rectangle of pale yellow light rests on Yagami's face from his hairline to his chin, passing over his closed eye and just barely parted lips.

Kaito peels Yagami's arm from his chest and sets it beside him, sitting up and carefully folding the blanket to the side. Yagami stirs, groaning and reaching out for him. He weakly grabs Kaito's wrist, rolling onto his side.

"Mmhnn," He mumbles. "Stay. Five more minutes."

"You need to get up too, y'know." Kaito reaches across and gently musses Yagami's hair; he lets go of Kaito and goes to fix it, face scrunching up, eyes still closed. "Sugiura's gonna be pissed if you make him wait."

Yagami whines gibberish and rolls back onto his back, putting his arm over his eyes. Kaito rolls his eyes and stands, stretching; he can feel Yagami's eyes on him, tracing the lines in his back. He relishes the attention before heading over to the closet and leaving the door open behind him in hopes that he can draw Yagami out of bed. Maybe the temptation of seeing more of him before he gets dressed will be enough.

He gauges each of his shirts by a scale of "gayness" that Yagami had proposed a couple days ago. The comprehensive list of criteria takes into account color, pattern, material, and even number of buttons - it's also probably the most energy Yagami's put into compiling anything in a long time, including case files. At first Kaito followed it just to humor him, but now it's practically ingrained in his brain.

Kaito takes a dark blue shirt from the very corner of the closet and shrugs it on, deliberately leaving the top couple buttons undone. He pulls on his one pair of dress pants and works on tucking in his shirt as he leaves the closet. Yagami is sitting up in bed, hair a mess, eyes still half shut. He yawns.

"You gonna go shower or what?" Kaito sits on the side of the bed and watches Yagami stretch, rolling his neck and his shoulders. Muscles tighten and loosen as he moves. Kaito quickly looks away, still testing the waters and easily flustered, and jokes, "Pretty sure Sugiura still keeps that knife on him."

"And I'm pretty sure I won't give him this month's paycheck if he stabs me, which I doubt," Yagami says, reaching down and taking yesterday's shirt off the floor, followed by clean boxers and a pair of ripped jeans. He shifts around a little, handing his clothes off to Kaito as he reaches for his crutches. "Even if it's for a good reason, and I deserve it."

"Mhm. Just go already," Yagami laughs ahead of him, shaking his head. The crutches click on the tile. Kaito slips ahead of him to turn on the shower, leaving the bathroom door open behind him. "Sooner you're ready, the sooner I can kiss you goodbye."

"Aww, you gonna miss me when I leave today?" Yagami turns to him and leans in, planting a kiss on his cheek. Kaito nods, humming as folds the ball of clothing and sets the now neat pile on the counter. Yagami gives him a wry smile, gesturing towards the shower, "Well, if you want some more time, you could always join me."

Kaito turns red in seconds. Just the mention of it plants a seed in his brain that spirals in his imagination, only feeding the fire burning in his face. Yagami picks up on his embarassment and becomes flustered himself.

"Sorry," He says, smile softening. "Am I going too fast?"

"N - no, it's just," Kaito brings his mind back under control. The dozens of kisses they've shared don't even begin to compare to the thought of them being so close together, skin against skin. He laughs, trying to play it off, "I'm already dressed. Would be kind of a waste, don't you think?"

"Guess so." He shrugs. Yagami undoes the straps on his brace and slips it off with practiced efficiency, not struggling for a second. He opens the shower door, pulling off his boxers and shuffling onto the chair inside. "Don't worry, I won't take too long."

"...Right." Kaito tries not to stare at the sharp lines of muscle along Yagami's thighs and mostly succeeds. Yagami catches him looking and smiles, shutting the door behind him, glass quickly turning opaque from steam. Kaito turns to see the blurry shape of his reddened face in the foggy mirror before heading back to the bedroom.

He wants to throw himself into the sheets and scream - in the best way possible. Kaito's feeling the happiest he's ever been, overjoyed in complete and total excess with nowhere for it all to go. How is he meant to cope with so much love in a body somehow too small for it all? He thinks he'll never be able to impart it all onto Yagami, who's even smaller than him, and he thinks that he'll never be able to let off enough of it to stop feeling the warmth in his chest and the back of his neck. He wonders if Yagami feels the same way.

Instead of screaming or collapsing into bed again or any other expression of this overflow, he quietly, calmly puts on a pair of black socks.

The distant rumble of water hitting the shower floor hums through the walls. Kaito falls back onto the bed. He considers going back into the bathroom and genuinely joining Yagami, but his embarrassment is still keeping him from actually following through. It's new to him, treading so carefully. For some reason rushing in like usual doesn't feel right this time.

He sits up once he hears the knock on the door, audible through the entire house. Kaito shuffles over and takes a deep breath and a long sigh before answering.

"Sugiura. You're, uh," Kaito pauses and leans against the doorframe. He tries to remember what time it is, hoping his memory's reliable. "Early."

"Yeah, sorry. Thought I woke up late so I ended up rushing," He chuckles, patting down a part of his hair that's sticking up. He fixes his jacket and the hoodie that's underneath it, shifting his clothes around a little in every place he can until he's satisfied. "I'm guessing Yagami - san's not ready yet?"

"Nope. Gonna be a while," Kaito steps aside and lets him come in, remembering his manners as he closes the door behind him. He gravitates towards the coffee machine and his deep - stained mug. "You want something to drink?"

"Nah, I'm good." Sugiura sets himself down in one of the kitchen chairs, throwing his arm over the back of it. He leans back, taking in the apartment for a moment, scanning across the table and back over his shoulder. "Man, your place is actually pretty nice."

"What's that supposed to mean?" He asks from the counter.

"Nothing, nothing! Just thought with the state of the office it'd be a little messier." Sugiura looks it over again, twisting in his seat and wincing when he turns to far. He adjusts how he's sitting both to be more comfortable and to get a good view of the whole apartment. "But nope, not a spot. That the whole yakuza discipline kicking in?"

"You gonna psychoanalyze me? I just like my place clean," Kaito shrugs. He doesn't mention how he cleans most of the time because he's worried about what people think, namely the people he cares about. He takes his coffee over to the table and reminds himself that he's not the kind to be worried. "Anyway, you get any further with the Fuuma case?"

"Nah. I was thinking we could stake out Kanrai tonight," Sugiura says, moving in his chair again so he can rest his elbows on the table. Kaito takes a long sip of his coffee and lets it warm him to his bones, driving away early morning sluggishness. "Me watching from the rooftops, you and Higashi on the ground. See if we can't get anything on him."

"Fine by me." He shrugs. He's not sure when he became the one everyone needs to run things through, but it's a role he's willing to take if it means keeping the office running. "We know his shift today?"

"I'll call Suto - san and ask once I'm back at the office." Sugiura fiddles with the sleeve of his denim jacket, undoing the button and buttoning it again. He thumbs along the seam and tilts his head to the side. "And if he doesn't know, then I guess we'll just have to pull an all nighter."

"Better than digging through garbage." Kaito's glad he doesn't ask about that one - he's been ankle, knee, and elbow deep in more dumpsters than he'd like to admit. Getting shirtless to rummage through trash without ruining his shirt isn't his finest moment. "Higashi on board?"

"Yeah. He seemed pretty okay with it." The look on Sugiura's face tells him that he probably knows about their work related dumpster diving already. Kaito takes another sip of his coffee and tries not to acknowledge the idea. "You guys do this kinda stuff often?"

"Nah, we just do what we gotta. Still," Kaito looks down at his mug, already half empty. Last night's sleep will probably be enough to hold him over for the rest of the day. He sighs, "None of us like working late. Higashi just doesn't complain as much."

"Really? He seems like such a "burn the candle at both ends" kinda guy."

"No way," Yagami says. Both Kaito and Sugiura turn to see him standing just outside the bathroom door, still fixing the waistband of his jeans. He comes over and sets himself at the table, hair still wet. "He's even more pissy when he doesn't get his beauty sleep."

"Not like you're exactly an early riser, either." Kaito says, not mentioning the exact details of this morning or their sleeping situation. He has no idea how Sugiura - or anyone else - would react to the two of them being together. He especially doesn't want to risk it when they're only just starting out. "Had to practically drag your ass outta bed this morning."

"Details," He shrugs, and even though he's wearing the same smile he's had for twenty years Kaito feels like he might melt. Yagami sets his elbows on the table and leans on them. "Being a hypocrite doesn't make me wrong."

"I don't think I've ever met anyone who likes getting up early. Especially after working late," Sugiura hums thoughtfully, not noticing how Kaito's barely holding himself together across from him. He smiles at a thought, obviously eager to share it, "But I bet Hoshino - kun's definitely one of those people."

"God, I bet he gets up at six every day, no matter what." Yagami chuckles, resting his cheek against his hand. This must be a test of wills, Kaito thinks. If God exists he's put too many challenges in this life, like not kissing your boyfriend every instant. "On days off and holidays, too."

"You're attacking the kid and he's not even here to defend himself," Kaito jokes, if only to distract himself from the thought of the numerous intimate actions he's twitching to participate in. "Not like I'm gonna defend him, though."

"It's not an attack if it's true." Sugiura says so pointedly it's almost funny, as if this is a Very Serious conversation that deserves a certain level of decorum and respect. He stands, still smiling, and pushes in his chair. He switches back to his conversational tone, "Well. You ready to go, Yagami - san?"

"Ready as I'll ever be," He sighs. Yagami props himself up on his crutches and follows Sugiura to the door, Kaito following not far behind. All three of them stop at the door. Yagami hesitates; they look at each other in silence for a little too long before he speaks. "Later, Kaito - san."

"Yeah." He won't even be gone that long. This shouldn't be as big a deal as Kaito's heart and head are making it out to be. It still feels like a big deal, crushing, making his voice come out sounding more sad than he'd like, "I'll see you."

"See you at the office." Sugiura says nonchalantly, as if this isn't a big deal, and that's because it really isn't. Not for him, at least.

The apartment feels so empty. Yagami seems to have touched every part of his life and every part of him, and the sort of fingerprints he's left have practically become part of the place. The cup he always uses, his clothes on bathroom floor, the blankets rumpled on the bed and the impression of where his head rests on his pillow - there are traces of him everywhere. Him not being here leaves the implied question unanswered, the puzzle unsolved, hints scattered with no resolution.

Or maybe Kaito's just clingy.

He's always been the protective type, he reminds himself, as he slips on his shoes and pulls his coat off the rack. Maybe he's just desperate for affection and attention, he thinks, as he walks to the edge of the road and the wind pulls on his jacket. The first thick, white snowflakes are drifting down and starting to cover the pavement. Swollen clouds overhead promise similar weather for the rest of the day.

Kaito slides into the back seat and almost forgets to say where he's going, his gaze drifting out the window and to the continuing snowfall. Maybe they'll get a decent snow this year, enough that it piles up on the street corners and the gutters along the road. Maybe he can take Yagami out to a park somewhere and figure out something for them to do, if they even do anything there; just being out with him in the cold, warm beside each other, would be enough to let him die happy.

"Excuse me, sir." The driver's annoyed voice breaks him out of his thoughts. They glare at him through the rear view mirror, obviously having been trying to get his attention for a while. "We've arrived, and I really must be moving on."

"Right. Sorry." Kaito clears his throat and collects himself, digging in his pocket and pulling out a noisy handful of coins. He doesn't wait for them to count them, already leaving, embarassed, "Keep the change."

The cold bites at his ears and his nose, hiding the awkward tones of pink across his face with a flush closer to red. He marches his way towards the office with his hands shoved deep in his pockets. It's gotten colder already and he should've brought gloves.

"Hey, Aniki." Higashi is leaning against the wall just beside the office door, arms crossed against his chest, the spitting image of a well put together thug - well, he would be if he wasn't wearing such a heavy coat. His breath comes out a fog. "You feeling okay? Haven't seen you in a while."

"I've been good. Just had to work some stuff out," He says, which isn't a complete lie. He looks Higashi over and frowns at the way his brows are knotted together, his shoulders drawn up, what's visible of his body tense. "What, you forget your key and decide to wait outside?"

"Nah. Sugiura said he'd be here soon, maybe thirty minutes, tops," Higashi sneers. The need for punctuality that was so common in his previous work won't be an easy thing to shake, but he'll have to get over it some day. Especially since he's dealing with Yagami. "And that was over an hour ago. What's taking him so long?"

"I dunno. Traffic, maybe?" Kaito looks Higashi over again and realizes that not only is he irritated at having to wait for so long, he's worried; it's plain as day across his face. He looks like a mother who's lost her child at a store. Kaito pats him on the arm, "I'm sure he'll be here soon."

"I hope so." He huffs. They both nearly jump at the sound of a phone vibrating, and Higashi quickly checks his before looking over to Kaito. "That yours?"

"Yeah. Lemme see."

He's got a text from Sugiura. There's a selfie of him on a rooftop, the Kanrai sign in the background. His hood is up, hair blowing across his forehead, cheeks pink. He has a confused smile on, hand up and vaguely gesturing towards the road.

_where are you guys???_

"He's... already there," Kaito sighs, tucking his phone back in his pocket. He fixes his coat around himself as Higashi sighs, harder than him, and puts his hands in his pockets.

"Of course he is." He scowls. Kaito can tell he's relieved, though, even if he'd never admit it, or the fact that he was ever worried in the first place. Higashi's nearly pouting at this point, looking more indignant than anything."Guess we better get going, then."

He tries to hide a smile and does a half decent job of it. "Guess so."

They walk in comfortable silence for a street or two, keeping to the edges of the road and away from the crowd. There's a thin, barely visible sheet of snow covering the ground, hundreds of footprints overlapping in all different directions. People huddle together in twos and threes, the bustle more condensed than usual. The cold wind sweeps between bodies and kicks up the fresh snow.

"So," Higashi starts as Kaito pulls the second to last cigarette from his carton, determined to make them last. He cups his hand around his lighter to protect it from the wind, the flame warming his face and washing it in a pale orange. "What've you been up to? Haven't been around the office in a while, huh?"

"Yeah, sorry about that. I've been, uh," He clicks his lighter shut and fixes his cigarette between two fingers, thin smoke mixing with a cloud of cold breath. "Working out some personal stuff."

"You figure it out?" Kaito hesitates - he thinks about Yagami this morning, about the line of muscle along his thigh, biting down on the end of his cigarette at the thought - and nods. Higashi nods back, content with his answer, "Good."

"Yeah, it's," He pauses, taking a deep breath. Is there a word other than love to describe what he's feeling? Nothing else can encompass the lightness in his chest, the warmth in his face, the way every molecule of his being devotes itself to that feeling. Nothing can match that, in name or in essence. "It is good. I've never felt better."

Higashi looks something adjacent to surprised for a second before he schools his expression. "Must've been pretty important."

"Mhm." He murmurs, distracted. His hand wanders to the back of his neck and the skin is warm despite the cold.

He doesn't think too hard about the look Higashi gives him; he probably couldn't if he wanted to. Yagami occupies every inch, every corner of his brain and leaves no room for any other thoughts. How he's even managed to keep breathing while devoting his entire mental capacity to daydreaming about him is mystery.

Kaito's phone goes off again once they cross onto Shichifuku, bearing another text from Sugiura. This time it's a picture of the two of them rounding the corner, legs blurred in mid - step. He looks up and scans the rooftops until he sees a dark, denim clad figure looming over a railing, white masked face smiling down at him. Kaito looks back down at his phone.

_took you long enough._

_im guessing you figured out fuumas schedule?_

There's a long pause as the masked figure withdraws from the edge of the roof.

_yeah, he works an early shift today and tomorrow, then late shifts all until next week_  
_should be getting off work soon._

_cool. we'll keep an eye out_

"He says Fuuma'll be out soon." Kaito walks over towards a lamppost, Higashi following suit. He tucks his phone into his pocket, crossing his arms and shoving his cold hands into his armpits. "Guess we gotta look busy for a bit." 

"We gonna tail him?" He nods. Higashi huffs, looking displeased. He pushes up his glasses, blowing out a long sigh, a clouded breath of cold steam. "Should've worn a different coat."

Kaito surpresses a snort. He smiles and shakes his head, leaning against the post behind him. Higashi looks an awkward mix of indignant and embarassed beside him.

"If it's any consolation," Kaito nods towards him, gaze fixed on Kanrai. The wind rustles his coat again, and he shivers, now regretting the thin layer. "You look pretty cozy."

Higashi mumbles, "I am."

They don't sit there for more than twenty minutes until a man zipping up a black parka over a waistcoat walks out of Kanrai and towards Senryo. Kaito's phone rings. He motions for Higashi to follow their mystery man and picks up the call, lingering at the post.

"That's him headed past the Champion District." Sugiura's voice sounds on the other side of the line. "I don't think he's noticed you two yet."

"Good. I'll follow a little bit further back," Kaito says as he takes his final cigarette, crumpling up the carton and discarding it in his coat pocket. He balances his phone on his shoulder and lights it in the same fashion as the one before, huddling around the lighter as it gently warms his hands and the tip of his nose. He takes a long drag and takes hold of his phone again, "See you in a bit."

"Yeah."

The light film of snow kicks up around his feet as he walks a little faster than casually, determined not to lose Fuuma. He dips between two groups of women and keeps his eyes on the long, dark coat and Higashi trailing behind him. His smoke blows back towards him, thinning in the strong breeze and dividing into smaller clouds against his face. 

Fuuma keeps a steady pace, soon rounding the corner of Taihei and heading down Pink. Kaito leaves his cover as they gather on the corner. Him and Higashi are both without much to help their route appear natural, though the younger man is much more conspicuous. The snowfall lightens and grows heavy on and off, thrown against the buildings by the wind. Even the barkers have mostly dispersed.

Once Fuuma reaches the end of the street he waits at the curb and hails down a cab. Higashi ducks into the convenience store on the corner; Kaito stops near a karaoke place and pretends to be interested in an ad plastered on one of the windows, keeping watch on the road out of the corner of his eye.

He waits until the cab leaves to meet Higashi on the sidewalk, watching it go as he takes his cigarette from his lips. Higashi lifts a plastic bag towards him, holding a Staminan in his opposite hand. Kaito takes the bag and sighs, smoke and fog.

"Didn't see anything particularly suspicious." Higashi says. Kaito's phone rings again before he can continue.

"Hey, Sugiura." He leans his weight to one side, breathing deep. Traffic rolls along on the road, not paying much mind to them losing their target and not finding any evidence. "You think this guy's actually clean?"

"I dunno. Seems like he knew he was being followed." Sugiura sounds half out of breath, obviously having his work cut out for him above. He swallows, taking another dry breath before continuing, "Oughta give it a few days and try again. With Yagami - san, next time."

"Sounds like a plan. You wanna call it quits?" Kaito turns away from the road, fixing the collar of his coat with a shrug. He turns again and paces along the sidewalk, Higashi waiting patiently near the signs by the closest subway entrance. "We can all go get dinner or something tomorrow night."

"Sounds good." He breathes. Sugiura's the type to overextend past his limits out of obligation; he needs a good break, for both his body and his mind. It's been a long while since they all got together, anyways. He sucks in another shaky breath, "I'll see you guys tomorrow, then?"

"Mhm." He squints against the early evening sun, glinting sharply against windows and light up signs as it sets. He turns over again, walking back towards the corner of Pink Street. "Rest up, yeah?"

"...Right. See you."

"We done already?" Higashi asks as he puts his phone away. Kaito shrugs, appraising the length of his cigarette before putting it back in his mouth. Higashi fixes his glasses again, running a hand through his hair to fix the loose, windblown parts. "Alright, then. You be safe getting home."

"You too." Kaito watches him go before heading back to the taxi stand, eager to head home and see Yagami again.

\--

He shoulders open the door and is met with a sudden, strong hug and a wet kiss on the cheek.

"Not even gonna let me get my coat off, huh?" Yagami doesn't respond. His lips move to the edge of Kaito's own, kisses landing off center. Kaito leans into him and kisses him back, clumsily slipping off his shoes as he returns the embrace. Yagami bends down a little, planting another kiss closer to his chin. Kaito laughs, "You're all over the place here, Ta - bo."

"Sorry," He says, right before giving him another misfired kiss. Loose curls of short black hair fall across his forehead and tickle against Kaito's brow, and Yagami chuckles, kissing him again, "Guess I gotta work on my aim."

"Awful touchy today," Kaito shivers as warm lips press against the side of his neck, skin still cold from the winter outside but now quickly growing hotter. His mouth withdraws. Kaito rests his head against Yagami's chest for a moment that feel like forever before he straightens and starts to peel off his coat. "Good to see you on your feet again."

"Feels good to be on my feet again." Yagami says, hesitantly pulling away. Kaito manages to hang his coat up and follows him into the kitchen. The detective gestures to the plastic bag on the table, "I got fancy cup ramen from Don Quijote on the way back. It's a special occasion, y'know?"

"Wow, expensive cheap food." He jokes, because that's pretty much his idea of a "special occasion dinner", too. Hell, if he'd thought of getting anything on the way home he'd probably have done the same. He digs out one of the many ramen packages and turns it over in his hand. "You spend three hundred yen each instead of one - fifty?"

"You know it. And a couple of those curry ones are actually four hundred," Yagami says pointedly, as if stating an important fact or presenting groundbreaking evidence. He takes the pot from the coffee machine, filled with boiling water, and brings it to the table. "Grab me one, will you?"

Kaito pulls out a curry and a shrimp cup and Yagami fills them - the shrimp one a little too much - and Kaito squeezes past him to grab a pair of forks. Steam rises from beneath the paper lids, the weak smell of powder based broth already filling the room. Kaito takes the pot from Yagami and sets it aside, sitting across from him at the kitchen table.

"So," Yagami begins. Kaito wraps his cold hands around the shrimp cup and pulls it towards him, heat leaking out of the styrofoam. "How was work?"

"Fine, I guess. Didn't get anything on our guy." He huffs. Between Yagami's touch, the ramen in front of him, and the apartment's heating, he's already starting to warm up nicely. "Still doesn't feel like he's innocent, though."

"Guess I'll have to show you a thing or two, then." Yagami smiles, filled with a refreshing breath of new life. The gaunt lines of his cheekbones have begun to disappear, and his hair's already grown back at least halfway to what it was before. He's finally starting to look like a man removed from the bloody mess he was at the ADDC.

"Don't worry," Kaito rests his cheek in one hand, leaning his elbow against the table. His heart is practically soaring in his chest. He tries to manage a casual tone without sounding as sappy as the words do in his head, "I won't take my eyes off you."

"You better not." Yagami says, looking over to the clock on the microwave before taking his fork and peeling off the plastic. His noodles are underdone by a minute, but Kaito knows that's the way he likes them. He points across the table with his fork, "I need the attention - especially yours."

It doesn't take any more than that to get Kaito thinking about this morning, the memory clinging to the back of his mind. He reddens at the thought, still somehow deeply embarassed, both at himself and the suggestion. He runs his tongue along the back of his teeth.

"Hey, Ta - bo." Yagami looks up from his ramen, mouth full. Kaito hesitates; maybe he doesn't even remember, maybe it's stupid to ask. And maybe, maybe he's just overthinking, like he always does when it comes to Yagami. "Uh... about this morning."

"Yeah... Hey, sorry if I made you uncomfortable." Yagami clears his throat, looking at the table. He balances his fork between his fingers, idly shifting it's weight back and forth in his hand. When he looks up at Kaito his face is serious, earnest. It catches him off guard. "I know this is all new. Sorry if I took it too fast."

"No, it was fine - it is fine, I just wanted to know," Kaito takes a deep breath and reminds himself that he probably shouldn't be so nervous. He tries to push his nerves to the side for a moment and finally manages to finish, "I wanted to know if you were... serious?"

"You - you wanna?" Yagami sets down his fork, and Kaito nods. He smiles slowly, shoulders shaking with a laugh Kaito doesn't hear, opening his mouth just wide enough to show his teeth. "Dude, yeah, I was. I mean - you really wanna?"

"Do you?"

Yagami snorts, that small grin still gently resting on his face, "Wouldn't have offered if I didn't."

"Right. So, uh," Kaito peels the lid off his ramen and stabs at it with his fork, spearing a mostly unbroken row of noodles and a piece of shrimp. Most the noodles are dragged down by their own weight and fall back into the rest. "After dinner?"

"Yeah, of course." Yagami says, casually returning to his own food. Kaito tries to get a more substantial forkful on his next attempt, approaching his ramen with renewed vigor. They eat in giddy silence, excitement practically buzzing in the air around them.

Kaito's never been as eager to throw away an empty styrofoam cup as he is right now, both of them on the brink of a what's probably a laughing fit, practically dragging each other into the bathroom. They're stupid and giggling like the kids they never got to be - it's kind of refreshing, honestly.

Yagami gets undressed much faster than Kaito can, mostly unhindered by buttons. Once he's peeled off his brace and is down to his boxers, he reaches over and starts undoing Kaito's shirt, making quick work of it and easing it down his shoulders. Kaito wants to kiss him - and once he realizes he actually can, he does.

Yagami drops his boxers and kisses him back, and Kaito has to make sure he doesn't forget what they're doing. He eases the rest of his clothes off all at once, and as he starts to guide the two of them towards the shower he stops. Yagami notices him pulling away and stops all the same.

He looks concerned when he asks, "What's up?"

"We, uh..." He feels so stupid for not realizing it until now. "We need to wait for the water to heat up."

"Oh."

Water patters against the porcelain floor of the shower and they wait there, naked, Yagami sitting on the toilet seat and Kaito leaning against the counter. Kaito folds his arms and looks over to his right, staring at Yagami; at the way muscle just barely defines itself in his torso, at the thin, patchy layer of dark hair on his arms and legs, the way his bones show through his folded hands. He stares at all the working parts that come together to make such a beautiful man.

Yagami catches him staring and smiles, appraising him in a similar way. Kaito can only wonder what he's thinking - he can only hope it's good. Even if he's all cellulite and vaguely visible muscle without the tacky patterned shirts. Yagami nods, as if affirming some statement Kaito doesn't know, then looks past him to the bathroom mirror.

"Should be hot by now." Kaito leans off the counter. Yagami points to the mirror, now fogged up and opaque behind him, answering a question he doesn't have to ask, "There's steam."

Kaito nods. "Right."

He steps in right behind him, arms hovering around Yagami. The water hits the back of his head and it feels too hot at first, like it always does. He leans his chin towards his chest and lets it run down his face, pooling just a little where his stomach barely meets Yagami's back. 

"This doesn't feel half as sexy as what they show in movies." Kaito says, and Yagami laughs, leaning back against him. Kaito reaches forward and Yagami leads his arms around his waist, hands gentle but strong on his wrists. The firm muscle of his back presses into Kaito's chest.

"We're wet and naked and close together." Yagami cranes his neck and smiles, thick, wet, hair messily plastered to his forehead. He lets go of Kaito's arm to slick it back against his head, stray curls falling down again as soon as he takes his hand away. He shrugs, "Not much more to it."

"Shower isn't really... big enough for the two of us, either," Kaito adds, noticing how close the wall is to his back; if he leans far enough he could probably touch it without taking a step. They're both kind of tall, and Kaito's pretty big, so it's a problem he should've expected. "S'pretty tight fit."

"Yeah. It's always real skinny girls in those movies though, isn't it?" He hums, replacing his hands on Kaito's arms. Kaito pulls a little bit closer around him, resting his lips against Yagami's shoulder, and a hand comes up to ruffle his hair. Water crests his brow and falls, drawing a trail down Yagami's arm along peaks of lean muscle. "I think I like this way better."

"Mhm," Kaito mumbles, engrossed in the warmth of his body and the water that runs down his nose and onto the space just beside Yagami's neck. That space is shaped perfectly for his lips, he thinks, and he fits the piece in it's designated spot.

"Awww, you're just melting, huh? Where's that thuggish charm?" Kaito kisses him again, slowly moving up his neck and eventually stopping once he reaches his cheek. He wraps his arms around him a little tighter and rests his chin back where his lips once were, comfortably positioning. Yagami scoffs, still smiling, still ruffling his hair, "And you called me touchy."

"Well," Kaito says, closing his eyes. "Maybe I missed you."

"What a surprise." Yagami chuckles, and Kaito eases into him a little further. The hand in his hair moves onto his neck, gently resting there as Yagami leans his head over against Kaito's. "I missed you too."


	14. Ever Heard of Alstroemeria?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> whoo boy, sorry this took so long! school's been kicking my ass and this kinda fell by the wayside... to think i started this back in summer when i was missing the cold weather, and now it's not too long before christmas!  
> thanks for sticking around through the long wait. i hope you enjoy :]

Kaito wakes up with his legs tangled in Yagami's, both of them joined in a jumble of limbs with no visible beginning or end, hidden beneath the covers. He blinks, slowly rubbing an eye. Yagami stirs beside him, not yet awake, huddling closer. Kaito gently pushes his hair from his face and brushes his hand along the line of Yagami's chin, stubble prickling against his skin. He takes a long breath, deep in sleep.

Kaito considers kissing him, but knows better - the taste of morning breath isn't worth it, and neither is waking Yagami up. He also considers trying to navigate his way out from their combined heap to get dressed, but they're too entwined for him to easily escape. Content with the warmth Yagami provides, and the weight of the comforter over them, he settles again and closes his eyes.

He wakes up with the sun in his eyes and Yagami gone from the bed, the covers folded over on the opposite side. He sits up and yawns, idly scratching his chest, looking to the window. It's not early, the sun not as weak as it is when he usually wakes up; the morning is orange and surprisingly warm, if only because of the residual heat that was trapped beneath the sheets.

Kaito swings his legs off the bed and immediately feels the expected morning chill against his bare skin. He shivers, hair standing on end, and gets dressed at probably record breaking speed just to beat the cold. His shirt stays undone by a few buttons, as usual, in defiance of the weather. The things he does for his brand.

Kaito makes a beeline for Yagami the moment he shuts the bedroom door behind him; he's on his phone at the kitchen table, obviously distracted. He comes up behind him, reaches over his shoulders, and shoves his hands into his shirt. His chest is warm, skin spread tightly across muscle.

"Ah, Kaito - san -!" Yagami jumps a little. He leans back, gently smacking his arm, but he doesn't pull away. He looks up at him and smiles, head resting against his stomach, hair falling back, "Your hands are freezing."

"Yeah, and you're warm. Only fair that you share," He hums, leaning down and moving his hands closer to his shoulders, loosely crossing his arms at the elbows. Yagami sighs and rests his cheek against Kaito's upper arm, content with his position as he goes back to his phone. "So, what's up?"

"Just sorting what we've got on Fuuma." Kaito sticks his head over his shoulder and looks at his phone, the blue UI of his organization app a familiar sight. The amount of text and the number of images in the "Evidence" category is abysmal. Yagami looks up at him and sees the look on his face, quickly defending himself with a huff, "There's not much, but it's nice to have this kind of stuff down."

"I get you." The organizational aspect is one of the few things he's taken with him out of his time as a lawyer, and Kaito knows it's important to him. He'd probably be a mess, if his habits would let him. "You ready for today?"

"Same as all the days before." Yagami shrugs. Kaito cuddles up closer to him, as if to make a point, and Yagami tilts his head against his and waits a moment. He continues, brushing the beginnings of a bang back behind his ear, "Well, some things are different."

"We'll be fine. Just can't be as... touchy." Kaito says, failing to make it sound as easy as it isn't. He's not sure if he'll have the strength to keep his hand from Yagami's, or to keep his eyes from staying in one place for too long, and he's not the best liar to boot. "Unless you wanna tell them?"

"I dunno yet." Yagami puts his phone away and move a hand up to idly run it through Kaito's hair, voice suddenly more serious. "I didn't tell Matsugane, or Genda - sensei. I guess it's been a long time since I first figured it out, but I don't... know, y'know?"

"Yeah. Yeah, I think I do." Kaito says, knowing intimately the weight he'd been carrying in his mind for the past month or so. He hasn't even really thought of what to do past this until now, honestly. This moment is the only thing that exists but the future somehow still looms dark and ominous off in the distance. 

He wonders how long Yagami's felt like this; like he's been hiding something, like he's been lugging around a part of him that can feel as heavy as a bag of bricks sometimes. He wonders if Yagami's ever thought that showing that part of himself could ruin everything he has.

"Don't worry, though. We'll," Yagami breaks the silence with a dry, forced laugh. Kaito's known him long enough to tell, long enough to hear it in his voice and see it in his face. "We'll be fine. We always are."

"Ta - bo..." He starts, but then he realizes he doesn't know what to say. Kaito sits there, arms wrapped around Yagami, face right next to his, and when he can't find the words to say he presses kiss after kiss against his cheek until he can find them. "We can take this slow, right? Don't gotta do anything you don't want to."

"Yeah. Yeah, I know, but," Yagami says, voice lightening up as he takes hold of one of Kaito's hands. He runs his thumb across his knuckles and lets out a long sigh, face softening into a small smile. "It feels better to hear you say it. Better than just thinking it."

"Well," He huffs, not really sure how to take the compliment. It's high praise to be sure and probably giving him more credit than is due, so he just chuckles a little and squeezes Yagami's hand in his. "Just glad I could help."

"When'd you learn how to know just what to say, huh?" Yagami leans back into the chair and against Kaito's chest, moving his finger down to trace the lines of muscle in Kaito's hand, ridging shallow peaks and valleys. "Usually I'm the voice of reason."

"Had a lot of time to think lately," Kaito pauses, and it's true he's been thinking too much. Unfortunately, it didn't make him any wiser - if anything, it's only made his head on a little less straight. He continues, "Especially with you not around."

"Sure you weren't too busy thinking about me?" Yagami says, in that sly voice he always uses when he knows he's right. Kaito deflates, going a little red in the ears, and Yagami laughs.

"...Course you'd hit the nail on the head your first try," He mumbles. Yagami ruffles his hair, which he doesn't protest - he leans into his hand, into his touch. His thumb wanders onto his cheek, by his ear, as his hand is soft and the skin if warm between them. He sighs, softly smiling, "Can't fool a detective, huh."

"Not if he's any good."

"Must've had me figured out since day one, then." Kaito says, and Yagami pushes his face away with a scoff, hand turning his cheek. Kaito comes back to him in an instant, still content with stealing his warmth.

"I'm flattered. But, flattery aside," He says, both face and voice coy. Kaito presses a slightly - less - cold hand against his neck, and Yagami shivers at the sudden change in temperature. "The others won't wait forever. We should probably be getting ready to go."

Kaito settles his arms back around him with a content sigh, "Are we gonna, though?"

"Well," Yagami tilts his head in thought with a hum, staying like that for a moment. Then he shrugs, gently setting his hand on one of Kaito's wrists, and says, smile obvious in his voice, "Maybe in a minute."

\--

The taxi ride to Kamurocho, while short, is somehow an incredible test of Kaito's willpower.

He hadn't really realized just how clingy he's been until now. Yet Yagami next to him is like a magnet, and one whose pull is hard to resist. Kaito glances from the corner of his eye and sees him, wants to hold him - he looks away and knows he's still there and wants to do anything to be closer beside him. It's a want he can't stifle, a need that's tugging at his chest.

His hand wanders across the seat to Yagami's next to him, his little finger hooking around his. Yagami just barely looks over from his phone and slowly returns the gesture, as if fully aware of the feeling.

It feels kind of stupid to Kaito, to need to touch and be touched so much, but to actually touch Yagami and be touched by him helps put those feelings by the wayside. Even just the touch of a hand is enough to make things seem right, and maybe that is stupid - but it's so simple, so easy, and maybe that's what he needs - and he's never been the smartest guy in the room, anyway.

He props his head up on his hand, elbow wedged against the corner of the taxi window, and of course the street rolls by like it always does. Snow drifts cast thin clouds of the powder layer as the wind blows by. Winter seems warmer this year, with the hand that barely touches his, like the earth has somehow begun to thaw even though the first snow has barely settled.

So yeah, it's probably kind of stupid. But Kaito doesn't think about that as he steps out of the taxi and Yagami comes close after, and they walk shoulder to shoulder down the sidewalk even though there's plenty of space. All he can think about is how lucky he is that he could even feel that way, that he gets a chance like this at all.

He wonders if Yagami feels the same way. Kaito's been wondering what Yagami feels for kind of a long time, now.

"Oi, you two! Stop right there." 

Yagami loudly sighs, tucking his hands into his pockets and rolling his head back a little. As he turns around his neutral expression turns to a scowl - a key part in him assuming the long practiced posture of an accosted punk. To most people it'd be a sign to stay away, but for Kaito, it only reminds him of when they were kids. 

"Hm? You want something, kid?" Kaito says nonchalantly, hoping this won't end in a fistfight. He turns and the kid behind them barely comes up to his shoulder, hood pulled up over his face and a scarf tucked into his jacket. "You get lost, need directions?"

"Nah, I know where I'm going. Just need your wallet," He says, not noticing the obvious signs not to bother them. Yagami's face genuinely sours at this point, frown deepening further. The punk doesn't seem to notice this, either, and continues, "Then I'll be all set."

"You'd be better off asking your parents for an allowance." Yagami frowns still, adjusting his usual offended pose to account for his back. He waves him away with a huff, "C'mon, get going."

"You -!" The kid takes the first swing, and before Kaito can react Yagami grabs him by the wrist and twists his arm in one flowing, near effortless movement. He lets him go and he stumbles back, clearly caught off guard. "How did..?"

"Think you'll head home now?" His voice lightens and his face does with it, with a small sarcastic smile and his brows raised. He folds his arms across his chest, but Kaito can tell he's still ready to act at a moment's notice.

"Tch... whatever. I'll show you, not to mess with me!"

He swings too wide, too open, and Yagami blocks his fist with his arm and shrugs off the punch. As he comes in for a second hit Kaito takes point, grabbing him by the wrist. It only takes a punch to the stomach before he's dropping to his knees, and at that point Kaito almost feels bad that the kid didn't put up a good fight.

"You should watch who you mess with," Yagami says, mouth drawn in a tired, straight line. Kaito fixes the cuff of his sleeve, looking down at the punk nearly sprawled out on the pavement. "Because you might not get so lucky next time."

"That your wisdom for today?" Kaito nudges him in the side, well aware of Yagami's many, many pieces of advice. It's not that they're bad, either - he's just heard most of them before.

Yagami drops his assumed posture and smiles a little, hands returning to his pockets, "It is."

"Alright, then let's get going. Wasting time standing here," He huffs, but he isn't in a hurry; if anything, it's the opposite. The longer they linger, the less they have to keep up some act. They less they hurry, the longer they can walk so close to each other.

Yagami notices, like always.

"Think they're that impatient?" He asks, even though Kaito can tell he already knows the answer. Yagami sighs and steps a little closer, breath clouding around his face, warm in the air. He watches Kaito for a moment then casually shrugs, "Yeah. Let's go."

They're barely half an alley away from the agency at this point. They stop in front of the door, a few people moving past them, the city much quieter in this out of the way location. Yagami slowly wraps an arm around Kaito's shoulder and silently clutches him tight against his chest, lean muscle solid against his back.

"We got this." Kaito says, reaching over to touch his hand. Yagami nods and silently pulls away again, as slowly as he'd begun, and hesitantly puts a little more distance between them. Kaito sees Yagami's now distant expression and elbows him in the side, "Aw, c'mon, don't mope! You're in charge, so you gotta look like it, too."

"Guess you're right," The detective sighs, relaxing a little, gaze softening as he loosens up. Yagami smiles at him, and Kaito's heart practically leaps through his ribs and out of his chest. "You ready, partner?"

It's all kinds of sappy, from the look in his eyes to the tone of his voice, down to the words themselves. Kaito manages not to snort in reply, "You know it."

Of course, simply heading up the stairs and opening the office door is a bit anticlimactic.

"Yagami - san." Higashi nods, standing behind the couch, squeezed in the space next to the desk. Sugiura, leaning back and spinning around in circles in the office chair, bolts upright at the loud creak of the door. Higashi shoots him a sideways glance, then continues, "Good to have you back."

"Good to be back - good to see nothing's really changed, too," Yagami looks around the office, gaze settling on the awkward mess of stuffed animals piled up next to a daruma on the shelf. He scrunches up his face at that, and Kaito knows that look; within the week he's gonna have to drag the couch over and stand them all back up again.

"Aw, c'mon. It hasn't been that long, has it?" Sugiura says, standing up and pushing the chair back against the wall with his foot. He shrugs, tucking his hands into his pockets once he's managed to get out from behind the desk, "You make it sound like you've been gone for years or something."

"God, felt like years. So," He sighs, clapping his hands together with his usual muted enthusiasm. Kaito warms seeing how easy Yagami slips back into the usual routine, more than happy to see him back in action. "We're tailing a guy today?"

"I'm sure Kaito - san filled you in, but I guess it bears repeating." Sugiura reaches over the desk and swipes a fresh pack of cigarettes from the very corner of it. He shakes it a little, motioning it towards Kaito, then tosses it across the room at him. Satisfied once Kaito's caught the carton, he continues, "Fuuma seemed to know we were following him last time, so we gotta change it up. I'll watch from above, you and Kaito'll follow him close on the ground, and Higashi'll back you up."

Yagami nods. "Alright. We heading out now?"

"Just about." Higashi says as he weaves between tightly placed furniture to grab his coat - which is thankfully much less conspicuous this time. He shrugs it on, leaving it unzipped for now, "He's on the early shift again today."

"You guys have your earpieces?" Yagami asks, and Sugiura nods, following not far behind Higashi. He buttons up his jacket and holds the door open for the older man, grinning as he dips into a shallow bow, exaggerating the formality. Yagami shakes his head at the display, "And don't do anything stupid."

"We won't." Halfway through the door, Sugiura stops for a moment and adds, "Even if it's something you would do."

"Little shit." Kaito says half heartedly, not really meaning anything by it. He huffs, watching them go; Sugiura's practically taking the stairs in twos, chattering towards Higashi with bright eyes and a genuine smile. "Nice to have him around though, isn't it?"

"Mhm. I think it's good for him to have something to do, y'know?" Yagami says, looking around the office one last time before opening the door again. Kaito once again takes to his side as they head back out to the street. "God knows it helped me."

"Hmmm," Kaito thinks back to when they were kids, and that sentiment's applied for most of the time they've known each other; Yagami stays busy to distract himself, and eventually comes around to working out his problems. "You're probably right. He does seem pretty alright these days, doesn't he?"

"Yeah, exactly."

"He was worried about you, you know. Was really eating at him." Kaito says as they turn the corner onto the back - roads that lead up to Nakamichi Alley. Yagami seems surprised at that, and Kaito fixes his jacket against a sudden chill and continues, "Bet it did him even better to see you alright. Kid cares about you."

"Even after everything, huh?" He mumbles, gaze wandering to the pavement, face looking lost. It hurts Kaito to see him like this, and it hurts worse to think he just can't accept forgiveness, let alone really understand it. The cold wind idly drifts around them still.

"Especially after everything." Kaito says, wrapping an arm around Yagami and putting his hand on his shoulder. "A lot's changed in not a lot of time, and you've done a lot for him, regardless. Of course he cares."

"Just keep picking up people everywhere I go," He laughs, a single dry chuckle underneath his breath, a smile barely visible, "Not really a bad gig, now that I think about it."

"In my experience, getting roped into shit with you isn't half bad, either. Well," Kaito gives him a final shake before shoving his hands back into his pockets, fingers already beginning to go cold. "Minus all the brushes with death, maybe."

"C'mon, that keeps it interesting." Yagami says, and they both manage to chuckle about that. Yet Kaito almost presses a hand to his stomach, suddenly very aware of a knot of scar tissue that'd gone unnoticed for a while; the memory of blood dripping down Yagami's forehead, the back of his white shirt stained a damp crimson, becomes present at the front of his mind.

"It's, uh... We're," Kaito wishes there was even just a cigarette for him to talk around - anything to justify how hard it is to get the words out. They pass the Millenium Tower, the building surprisingly normal, and he clears his throat and swallows, "Lucky to have you back."

"Getting sappy on me, aren't you?" Yagami looks at him with a gentle smile, fixing his windblown hair. He probably knows exactly what Kaito's thinking, probably sees the way his gaze drifts up towards the thin, pale scar on his forehead. "Hey, eyes down here."

"Sorry, it's just -"

"I know. I - I'm not going anywhere any time soon, okay? Promise." His voice is so genuine, so sincere, pooling warm in the cavity of Kaito's chest. Yagami looks around him, scanning the street as they pass by Kanrai; he reaches into his pocket and hands an earpiece off to Kaito. "You ready?"

"...Yeah." He takes it and slowly sets it in his ear, effectively ending this moment of privacy. Kaito presses the button, testing the line, speaking once he hears static coming through. "Oi, Sugiura. You alive over there?"

He huffs, and Kaito can imagine him rolling his eyes, "Took you long enough."

"When'd you get so impatient, Sugiura?" Yagami shakes his head, one hand on his hip, false disappointment exaggerated for no one in particular, considering the fact that Sugiura can't see him. He leans back, looking up at a random rooftop. "You pick that up from Higashi?"

"I can hear you," Higashi grumbles across the line. Another stiff wind unsettles scattered piles of snow as he continues, "Yagami - san."

"I know." He says, smug. "Sugiura, you see anyone yet?"

"Should be out any second now." Sure enough, the door opens a minute later. The same waistcoat and black jacket leave Kanrai as they did the day before, only this time at a much more hurried pace. He heads towards the Millenium Tower, and Sugiura chuckles, "Looks like someone's on a tight schedule."

"Thinking that schedule involves another woman?" Kaito says, waiting for Yagami to make the first move. They stay waiting at a lamppost, watching him round the corner.

"Guess we'll find out. Sugiura, you keep an eye on him. Higashi, Sugiura'll tell you where we need you." Once Yagami finishes he straightens, taking his hand away from his ear. He tucks his hands into his pockets and takes on a casual posture, and for a moment Kaito thinks that even he might lose the man in a crowd. "Alright, c'mon."

"Right behind you."

At least Fuuma being in a hurry makes this chase of theirs easier; he doesn't have any time to check back behind him, and doesn't stop nearly as often as most their targets do. They follow him right past Theatre Avenue and to the taxi stand down by the Children's Park, and he waits there at the end of the street, looking impatient. Kaito and Yagami take up their post at the back of the Club Sega.

"Must be waiting for someone." Yagami takes out his phone, tapping onto the camera app. Kaito folds his arms and leans against the red wall behind them. Yagami doesn't look up from his phone, "Keep your eyes peeled."

A taxi pulls up after five minutes or so, and Fuuma fixes his hair and his jacket before opening the door for whoever's inside. A woman steps out, tall and only made taller by her platform heels, in a long beige coat. They talk for a moment and she laughs, silent at this distance; he smiles, says a few more words, and they kiss. Yagami's phone quietly clicks.

"Think we're good?" Kaito says, watching as Fuuma slowly pulls away. They keep chatting, standing their at the corner. He leans over Yagami's shoulder to evaluate the photo - as always, everything is in clear view. "Nice one, Ta - bo."

"Yeah, I think -"

"Yagami - san, watch out -" Sugiura's voice suddenly plays over the line, staticky with his heavier breathing. "I think he's onto you."

Kaito looks up to see Fuuma looking over the woman's shoulder, staring straight at them. Anything they do now will only make them more suspicious, but just standing here is likely to get them caught. He looks over to Yagami, praying he has a plan. Yagami thinks for a moment, then, determined, nods.

"Kiss me."

"What?" Kaito hisses, seeing Fuuma still scrutinizing them out of the corner of his eye.

"It oughta throw him off enough. And I think," He whispers. His hand wanders to Kaito's upper arm, gently holding him near the shoulder. The other, still holding his phone, moves to rest on his waist. "I think I'm ready for them to know, if you are."

"Alright." Kaito focuses all his attention on Yagami, moving to thumb the side of his face, tracing the line of his cheekbone. His skin is warm beneath the pads of his fingers, and his hair is soft beneath the palm of his hand. "But this better be the best damn kiss you've ever had."

The first thing Kaito notices is that Yagami's lips are chapped. His nose fits perfect against Kaito's cheek, like it always does, and he turns his head and breathes against him. Sugiura is saying something over comms, yelling, and Higashi's yelling right back, but the words are nothing but sounds. There's almost a bubble around them; nothing exists past their lips together, past where their bodies meet hand and fabric.

Yagami laughs giddily as they slowly seperate, hand at his ear, and Kaito can't help but smile at the sound of his laugh. He flashes a glance towards the taxi stand and Fuuma and his girl are gone, probably halfway down the street by now.

"Kaito - san, are you listening to me!" Sugiura's voice is clear without anything to distract him, now. "How long have you and Yagami - san been -!"

Yagami reaches over and takes his earpiece out, tucking both of theirs back into his pocket. "Guess we should head back, huh?"

"Guess you're right." Kaito looks down the street and sees Higashi standing there, frozen, a ways away. He can distantly make out the slack jawed, blank look on his face, and that gets a laugh out of him as his cheeks warm and go pink. "God, we're gonna get an earful at the office, aren't we."

"We absolutely are. So," Yagami smiles, snaking his hand into Kaito's, entwining their fingers, "All the more reason to take our time."

As they start off towards Theatre Square, Kaito leans into Yagami, head against his shoulder, "Couldn't have said it better myself."

\--

"Aniki, Yagami - san." Higashi nods as Kaito pushes open the door, having regained most his composure. There's a hint of some strange brand of embarassment just barely visible on his face, which a stranger likely wouldn't notice - the face a kid makes when he catches his parents kissing.

"Kaito - san! I -" Sugiura, however, is practically vibrating with pent up energy. He stops talking to shuffle out from behind the desk, dusting off his legs for just a moment before launching headfirst into his next sentence, "How -?"

"We got the evidence." Yagami says, ignoring pretty much everything about the situation. "It's late. You guys wanna grab a bite to eat or something?"

"You..." Sugiura deflates a little. He points at them, not sounding anywhere near commanding, "You're gonna tell me all about it over ramen, got it! It - I gotta know!"

"Whatever you say. Higashi?" And at Yagami's proposal Higashi awkwardly looks around, pushing up his glasses. It's not like he's any stranger to office romance, but Kaito can tell that it's definitely a completely different experience when it concerns him. Kaito softens, clapping him on the shoulder.

"C'mon, it'll be nice. Been forever since we all got together."

Swallowing some of his confused, muddled embarassment, Higashi nods. "...Sure."

"Kyushu Star it is. Ready," Yagami puts his hand out again, giving an open invitation. "Kaito - san?"

Kaito nearly rolls his eyes at the exaggerated, cheesy nature of it all, like something out of a romcom. He takes the offered hand in his, smiling anyway.

"You know it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> honestly that kiss scene was the reason i wrote this lmaoo. only took me this long to get to it  
> we're almost at the end, so i wanna thank everyone for reading, and thank everyone who left comments! your words touch my heart, and it's your comments that help me keep writing!  
> as always, thank you all so much :]


	15. The Garden Gates Open

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's finally here - i'm sorry i took so long! life got in the way and a lot of things were making it difficult for me to finish this in a way i wanted, let alone write at all.  
> i hope you enjoy this last chapter :]

Kaito wakes up with the dim morning sun cast over his face, Yagami's arm lying beneath him and wrapping around to hold him close to his chest. Yagami's chin sits gently against the top of Kaito's head, the soft sound of his deep breathing right above him. His chest rises and falls, Kaito's cheek resting comfortably on his shoulder. His face is calm with sleep.

He gently pushes a mess of curls away from Yagami's eye, fingertips brushing against his forehead. The scar lurks there beneath thick black hair, a faded reminder of a distant but not - so faded memory. Yet the fact that it's there at all helps to ease some of Kaito's worries; the fact that it's there at all means he's healed, and is healing.

Kaito holds the side of Yagami's face in his hand, skin warm against his palm. His hair is soft, and the faint scent of his cologne still lingers on him, now spread onto the pillow and the sheets. It seems like even with how close they were before, little pieces of Yagami keep finding new places to stay in Kaito's life. His hair, his smile, a brush of their hands, all these are old sensations with new meaning - not to mention the new sensations, too.

He lets his hand fall back onto Yagami's chest.

The sun is slowly warming the room, lazily rising outside, orange light brightening. Yagami stirs just as slow, breathing shallowing as he wakes up. He waits a little longer before opening his eyes, sitting up in bed and looking down at Kaito.

"Morning, handsome." Kaito murmurs, easing into him a little further. Yagami snorts, shaking his head with a smile, the smile that still manages to warm Kaito's entire chest. He can't help but smile back, wrapping his arms around Yagami's waist, "You sleep alright?"

"Hey, don't make it sound like I'm getting up," He says, leaning down to brush Kaito's hair aside and plant a kiss on his forehead. Yagami reaches over his arms to pull the quilt up around them, huddling into the bed a little further. "It's early, you're warm, and I'm going back to bed."

"C'mon, we need some kind of schedule. Besides," Kaito draws away from Yagami's waist and pulls the blanket over his head, slipping out from beneath the covers. He stands and stretches, leaving Yagami to pop out from the covers, his hair a black, tangled mop. "Can't leave the kids to hold down the fort forever."

"Fine, fine," Yagami whines, mussing his hair into something half presentable as he kicks the blanket off of him. He shivers, bare skin now suddenly exposed to the cold, rubbing his arms. "Just you wait, I'm gonna start opening the agency late on the weekends."

"Mhm. Once you do, we can stay in bed all morning." He rolls his shoulders, taking in the warm strips of sunlight trickling in through the blinds. He grabs his hands together behind him and groans, muscle and fat touching along the folds of his back, pulled taut beneath skin. Kaito lets his arms fall and looks back over his shoulder, "I'm gonna get dressed."

Yagami, tiredly rubbing one of his eyes, mumbles, "Gimme a sec."

Kaito grabs the least gaudy shirt from the corner of the small, cramped closet; his dress pants are retired to the laundry pile in the bathroom, and are replaced by an old pair of jeans that's just a little too big to fit Yagami. He shuffles the hangers around until he finds Yagami's usual pair, worn so much they're close to ripping, and grabs a black, long sleeved shirt to match.

Yagami's lying back in bed by the time Kaito comes back into the room, as expected. He throws his clothes onto the bed and bends down to wrap his arms around his back, faces inches apart. Yagami blinks once, twice. Kaito pulls him up off the bed and onto to his feet.

"And here I thought," He huffs, his cold hands snaking up the back of Kaito's untucked shirt. Yagami leans forward and rests his chin on Kaito's shoulder, practically limp on top of him. He mumbles, jaw gently digging into Kaito, "You were actually gonna kiss me."

"Gotta brush your teeth first, you big baby." Kaito laughs, much to Yagami's audible and exaggerated dismay. He gives him a few consoling pats on the head then moves to slowly ease his hands out of his shirt, standing him upright. "C'mon, you can kiss me after you get ready. I'll make breakfast, too."

"And that," He says, finally reaching for his clothes. Yagami pulls his shirt over his head, quickly messing with his hair again until it's returned to looking vaguely presentable, "Is a bribe I can accept."

"Thought so. I'm told I'm pretty convincing." Yagami elbows him in the side, shaking his head with a chuckle as he takes his jeans off the bed. He gently waves Kaito away, and he obliges, shutting the door behind him.

A quick rummage through his cabinets really hammers home that he needs to start buying some actual food. He pulls a half empty box of instant rice from the very back of one, not quite remembering when he opened it. It takes him even longer to find his rice cooker - small, dusty, and similarly neglected. He wipes away a streak of the thin grey layer with his thumb, revealing white, plastic skin.

Despite being ignored for months the rice cooker happily beeps when he turns it on, not holding any grudges. His water to rice ratio is a little off, not exactly measured, but the rice cooker still cheerfully starts at its hopefully - not - doomed task. He leans back against the counter, hands behind him, idly watching the timer count down. A quiet hum fills the corner of the room, the wind outside blowing hollow against the windows.

Serving plain rice with nothing else would be kind of pathetic, Kaito thinks. And unfortunately for him, plain rice isn't exactly an act of love.

The fridge is barren besides a few cans of beer, a container of already cooked shrimp, and an almost empty carton of eggs. He ignores the beer and sets the rest out on the counter, returning to the cabinets for a pan, a bowl, and a fork. The rice cooker hums, the fork hits the side of the bowl as he breaks the yokes and whisks. The pan sizzles in invitation as he pours the shrimp - egg mixture in.

Kaito's pushing around the eggs in the pan when a pair of arms wraps around his stomach, short, curly hair tickling against the back of his neck.

"He finally emerges." Kaito says, and Yagami lets out a dry little laugh, breath warm against his skin. The rice cooker beeps on the counter while Yagami stays clutched to his waist, leaning forward against him. He pushes his arm back a little, elbow pressing gently against Yagami's side, "You awake back there?"

"Barely," He mumbles, turning his head to rest his cheek against Kaito's back. Kaito shakes his head, smiling, still folding the eggs over themselves. There's a moment of silence until Yagami perks up behind him, "That smells good."

"S'nothing special."

"Seeing as you haven't cooked for someone in, what," He pauses with a shrug. His hands just barely ride up on Kaito's hips with the motion, fabric wrinkling beneath interlocked fingers. "Over a year? It's pretty special to me."

His face is warm at the sound of Yagami's voice right against him, at the feeling of Yagami's folded hands gently resting against his stomach. "That so?"

"Mhm." Yagami hums, shifting to a more comfortable position against Kaito's back. Short curls, now of a more considerable length, brush against the back of his head, moving closer to his ear. Yagami's arms hug around him a little tighter, and he teases, "Aw, you're cute when you blush, Masa - chan."

"I, er - I thought you were gonna save that one..?" Kaito reddens from a light pink to a cherry red, burning up everywhere above the base of his neck. Yagami's voice still rings sweet in his ears; his laugh, soft and warm like honey behind him, doesn't help.

"Changed my mind." He chuckles, leaning forward to rest his chin on Kaito's shoulder. Kaito sighs, rubbing the back of his neck, feeling red - hot skin beneath his palm, and Yagami laughs again, "I can't help it, it suits you."

"...Cute, huh?" Kaito manages, trying to change the subject from the nickname and the inherent deep red flush that comes with it. He takes the pan off the burner, the eggs finished and the shrimp vaguely incorporated. "Not sure I've gotten that one before."

"Well, I've never really had a good time to say so, now have I?" Yagami shrugs, still clinging to Kaito's waist, even as he reaches for the rice cooker and pops the lid off. There's three bowls in the cabinet above the sink, and he takes down two and grabs a pair of forks from the near empty drawer below it. His cheek presses against Kaito's shoulder as he turns his head, "You've always been cute, though. Ever since we were kids. God, I... it feels good to say that."

"...Good to hear it." He spoons the rice out into two even portions, dividing the eggs in half and splitting it across the bowls. The almost - popcorn smell of rice quietly fills the room while the wind still howls outside, the windows and walls dividing warm and cold. "You gonna let go of me long enough to eat?"

"Mmm, we'll see," Yagami hums, reaching around him for his bowl and withdrawing from Kaito's back. The metal folding chair squeaks as he sits in it, just barely sliding across the floor. He takes a scoop of rice, nodding appreciatively. He talks through a full mouth, "Nevermind, I'm gonna sit here and eat it. Sorry, food outclasses you."

Kaito snorts as he sits down across from him. "You saying you'd choose like, a cup noodles over me?"

"Nah, you're worth more than that." He takes another bite, thinking. Yagami swallows, clearing his throat; he waits another moment before shaking his head and waving his fork in surrender, "Worth more than this, too. I'm just hungry."

"Good to hear that, too," Kaito says, taking a stab at his own bowl. The eggs are the perfect, just right balance of wet and solid, and the rice is done. The shrimp is warm but doesn't burn his tongue, hot enough to be palatable but not painful. "Oh - I owe you a kiss, don't I?"

"Sure do." Yagami says, already close to halfway finished with his food. He sets his bowl down and leans over the table, pushing his chair back with his foot, hands holding him up. He turns a cheek towards Kaito and looks at him out of the corner of his eye, softly smiling.

Kaito takes Yagami's face in one hand and turns it to face him head on, fondly looking him over. He runs the knuckle of his pointer finger along Yagami's cheekbone, his hand creeping towards his ear, fingers running through his hair. The detective turns into his palm and holds it against his cheek with his hand, breathing deep and slow. Each breath is warm against Kaito's skin.

Kaito kisses him on the cheek, soft skin pressing gently down against muscle and bone just beside Yagami's eye. His lips wander, pausing as their noses touch. They both laugh, Yagami lowering both their hands down to the tabletop, lips brushing against each other. The edge of the table digs into Kaito's stomach.

"We... better stop here." Kaito says, slowly returning to his seat. His one hand withdraws while the other lingers on the table, wedged beneath Yagami's. 

"Right." Yagami huffs, following suit and sitting down. He picks up his fork again, still resting his hand on top of Kaito's, still slowly slotting their fingers together. He idly taps on the tabletop with his free hand, leaning his head to one side. "We'd never get anything done otherwise, huh."

"If it helps any, you're pretty good as far as distractions come."

"You're not too bad yourself," The detective props his leg up on his chair with a smile, picking at the remainder of his rice, trying to pair it with a similar amount of egg. He scrapes his bowl, now nearly empty, from corner to corner. "If I had nothing else to worry about, I'd waste every day just sitting here with you."

"...You say the sappiest shit sometimes, y'know that?" Kaito shakes his head, the back of his neck warming again. He quietly moves to finish his own food, content in the feeling as much as he is in Yagami's company - two things he's sure he'll never get tired of.

"Mhm." Yagami sets his fork in his bowl and stands, heading over to the sink and rinsing it out. Kaito follows suit, leaning casually against his shoulder. The sink, depressingly small, doesn't have enough space for either of them. Yagami elbows him in the side, "You know, I only say it because it's true."

"I appreciate your honesty, then." Kaito chuckles, trying to shrug it off. He leaves his dishes in the bottom of the sink, setting aside the few other remnants of meals had outside of a package.

"Good." Yagami rests his head on Kaito's shoulder, abandoning his bowl in the sink with a clatter, "Hard to keep it to myself these days."

"Well... you don't have to anymore, do you?" Two dark, round eyes stare up at him, asking a silent question in response. Again his face feels warm, again those eyes do something to him; he folds his arms, Yagami's head bouncing just slightly on his shoulder. "Keep it to yourself, I mean."

An arm snakes around Kaito's waist, a bony hand gently cupping his hip. Yagami turns his head to face him and sighs.

"When'd you get smarter than me, huh?"

"Who knows." Kaito smiles. Yagami eases further into him. He reaches out to rest a hand on Yagami's shoulder, bringing their faces together with a whispered, "You still want that kiss?"

Yagami laughs. "You know I do."

\--

The early afternoon is just as cold as the rest of the winter, wind howling through narrow streets and alleyways as snow gently falls. Their footsteps crunch on the snow covered sidewalk, leaving a trail of footprints behind that's already being buried once more. People walk in groups, the usual crowd nearly returning in full; as if Kamurocho's come out hibernation, now ready for the season.

"Morning, Yagami - san, Kaito - san," Sugiura says from the couch, tossing aside a handful of papers onto the coffee table. He leans his head back on the armrest, kicking his feet up on the opposite side. As he speaks he pauses, clearly searching for the right way to put the words, "Me and Higashi were just... sorting through appointments."

"Wouldn't really call it sorting." Higashi glances down at the thin stack of requests on the tabletop, fixing his glasses. He turns his gaze to the two of them, his usually stern face looking a little gentler these days, "I told Suto - san he could come in today. Hope you don't mind."

"Yeah, that's fine." Yagami shoulders his coat off and hangs it over the back of the couch. Sugiura brushes the arm of the jacket out of his face, sitting up a little, moving his feet from the arm to the empty cushion beside him. "Anything else on the agenda for today?"

"Nope. My guess is it's the cold," Sugiura shrugs, putting his hands behind his head. He continues matter - of - factly, closing his eyes with a shrug, "Warmer it is, the more trouble there is."

"You speaking from experience?" Kaito suggests; Sugiura looks exaggeratedly indignant for a moment before smiling and rolling his eyes, not even half as affronted as he pretends to be. Kaito hangs his coat up on the rack and reaches down the ruffle Sugiura's hair, "Never said it was bad experience."

"Hey, c'mon - my hair! Kaito - san!" He whines half heartedly, lazily batting away Kaito's hand. It's now that Kaito realizes that Sugiura hasn't touched up his hair in a while, his bangs nearly hanging in his eyes, pale orange paling further to give way to light brown. He musses his hair once Kaito pulls away, joking, "Think of my image!"

"Right, right. Gotta preserve the brand, yeah?" He smiles, watching Sugiura carefully fix his bangs from one position to a new, nearly identical one. His hands don't wander to press against his stomach, his eyes don't go distant and his gaze doesn't drift far away to somewhere else. The kid's had some life breathed back into him, and it does Kaito's heart good to see him looking better.

"He's gotta maintain a very thoughtful kind of messy." Yagami adds, leaning his elbows on the back of the couch and folding his hands in front of him. He cocks his head to one side, thinking for a moment with a low, quiet hum. "Kinda like the office, y'know?"

"I dunno," Higashi folds his arms, wood softly creaking as he gently leans back against the cabinet. He shakes his head, "Think it's just plain messy in your case."

"You're not wrong." Kaito shrugs, which earns him an exaggerated look of betrayal from Yagami beside him. He reaches over and pats him on the shoulder, consoling, laughing a little. "Hey, c'mon, it's not that bad."

"And it's all isolated to the sink - pinball corner, too." Sugiura says as he bounces his heel against the arm of the couch. His hair fixed, he tucks his hands back behind his head with a shrug, closing his eyes with a nod. "My place is probably worse, honestly."

"Last I checked you don't have strangers over every day, though," Yagami sighs, wilting a little as he walks behind the desk, looking through papers. He starts reorganizing things how he likes, and Kaito can tell he's a little overwhelmed at how much he's going to have to record down. "God, feels like forever since I've done this."

"We can always stay late and just get it over with." Kaito joins him behind the desk, watching as he divides the notices into messy piles, papers folded and unfolded, all different sizes. Kaito idly puts a hand on Yagami's hip, wrapping an arm around his waist, "Got nothing better to do."

"Eh," Yagami shrugs, leaning into him. "Maybe some other time. Not really feeling it today."

There's a curt knock on the door, short and polite. In the next moment the door slowly swings open, and a small, old man in a large, familiar coat enters. Yagami looks to Kaito, and Kaito's hand leaves his hip and he quickly slips out from behind the desk. The desk digs into his thigh as he wedges his way between it and the pinball machine.

"Good to see you, Suto - san." Kaito gives him a bow that's just deep enough to be polite and just short enough to not be awkward.

"You too, Kaito - san. Ah, and you," He gestures towards Yagami, who's now busy freeing himself from behind the desk with about as much dignity as he can. Suto seems oblivious of the nature of the detective's whole position as he continues, "You must be Yagami - san. It's a pleasure to finally meet you."

"Suto - san, right? Nice to meet you, too." Yagami shakes his hand with a long practiced customer service smile, bowing his head a little. Suto is once again drowning in his coat; a predicament only made more obvious by Yagami's tall, lean stature. Yagami seems to awkwardly notice this. "Right, er - you came in to talk about your case?"

"Yes, Higashi - san asked me to come in." He nods over to Higashi, whose lips thin as he makes a small, obviously forced smile, eyes narrowing behind his glasses. Suto continues, somehow still unfazed, "He said you'd finished the job. Is that true?"

"Yeah. What you heard about this guy was all true," Yagami says, not one to sugarcoat. The detective takes out his phone and quickly turns it towards Suto, showing the screen, "We caught what looks like him cheating, like you thought."

"Ah... right. It's," He wrings his hands with a sigh, looking a mix of relieved and downright gloomy. Suto looks to Yagami, nodding, managing a small smile. "It's what I expected, and it's good to know, but still..."

Higashi glances over, awkwardness now decaying without direct attention, "Hard to break news like that, right? Even if it's for the best." 

"Right. But, like you said, it's for the best." He sighs and tucks his hands into his pockets, shrugging. His jacket crinkles, hood peaking up towards his ears as his shoulders rise and fall, "Tomijo ought to know. Hopefully, she'll be happy to know, too."

"Glad we could help." Yagami says, and Kaito can tell he means it. Far too many of their clients end up being scumbags - enough to make them appreciate the good ones, at least. Yagami continues, snagging a business card off the filing cabinet and holding it out between two fingers. "Fuuma gives you any more trouble, give us a call. We'll take care of it."

"Well, let's hope it doesn't come to that. But thank you for the offer," Suto smiles with a nod, taking the card from his hand and turning it over in his own. He nods again, satisfied with what he sees, and adds, "And for everything else. I really appreciate the help."

"Don't mention it. It's been good working with you," Yagami shakes his eager hand one last time, Suto finally putting the card away. He smiles, lips turning up uneven, perfectly assymetrical; Kaito starts to melt a little just at the sight of it. Yagami's eyes dart over to him for a second, catching him staring. He continues without skipping a beat, "You stay safe out there."

"Of course. Oh, and thank you again," He says, with a specific parental tone that only an old man can muster. He smiles gently, waving as he walks out the door - his jacket swishes between his arm and his torso. "You all take care of yourselves."

"Thanks, Suto - san." Yagami waves back. His vaguely professional posture lingers as the door closes and footsteps softly retreat down the stairs; he finally relaxes once the sound of second door closing downstairs echoes through the wall. He sighs.

"Nice to have clients like that," Kaito hums, immediately drawing close to him again. Yagami welcomes him close without a word, still quietly watching the door. It'll probably take a little bit for him to get back in the swing of things. "Wish all of them were the same way."

"You guys get assholes that often?" Sugiura says. His head appears from behind the couch, leather cushions loudly protesting as he sits himself upright.

"Eh, some of them are kinda rude," Yagami shrugs as he turns away from the door and to the rest of the room. He leans over the back of the couch again, leather wrinkling beneath his arms, "But we've never gotten anything too bad. Most of it's kinda mundane, honestly."

"People pay, we perform. Besides," Kaito leans in to gently elbow Yagami in the side, "Ta - bo's got a soft spot for the lost cat requests."

"You a fan of cats?" Higashi asks, unfolding his arms. Yagami gives him a pointed look and nods his head up towards the coat rack, indicating the numerous stuffed cats propped up against he wall on top of it. Higashi follows the gesture and deadpans, "Ah. Right."

"Better when they're someone else's, though." Yagami shrugs again before leaning against Kaito, resting his cheek on his shoulder. Kaito wordlessly accepts this and lets him get settled in. "Lot less to worry about."

"I don't think we're really pet people, anyway."

"Ha, didn't think so." Sugiura says, sticking his chin up as he rests his hands behind his head. He lays back down on the couch and rests his head on the arm. He nods his head to one side in thought, question already asked before he even says it, "Soooo... what now? That was pretty painless."

"I guess we could finish up early?" Yagami leans back and stretches, raising his arms up over his head with a groan. Muscle is drawn clear from his chest up to his wrists, lean, sharply defined. "I don't really feel like hanging around the office all day."

"Fine by me." Sugiura sits upright, seeming impatient with every position. He swings his feet off the couch and stands, gently rolling from his toes back onto his heels. He turns to face them, "I can swing by Tender later, see if Masuda - san's got anything for us?"

"Sounds good." Kaito nods. Yagami finally finishes stretching, lowering his arms with a small, content sigh. Kaito looks between Sugiura and Higashi before turning to grab his jacket, "Just give us a call if you need anything."

"Will do," Higashi straightens, cabinet creaking again as he takes his weight off of it, fixing his glasses. He tucks his hands into his pockets with a nod as Yagami pulls on his own coat, "See you later, then."

"Right. Sorry, you guys kinda came in for nothing." Yagami says - and it's clear that that's his only hang up about the whole situation.

"Hey, not like I'm gonna complain." Sugiura casually waves him off, heading to the door himself. He holds it open, tucking his free arm against his stomach with a grin, everything but his face posing exaggeratedly polite. "After you."

Yagami chuckles as they walk past him and down the stairs, shaking his head the way someone does at a stupid joke. It's a small thing that yet again reminds Kaito he loves him; like the lopsided curl of his lips and how his sleeves are always a little too short on him; like the natural curl to his hair and the way the rounds of his bones show on the insides his wrists. Millions of pieces stitch together to make him, individual pieces that could belong to anyone else - but in tandem they can only make Yagami, and no one else.

Their hands drift together as they walk, and Kaito notices how Yagami's hands, slender fingers and defined muscle, are always a little cold.

"What now?" Kaito asks, breath clouding pale in front of him. Yagami tilts his head to the side with a hum, creating a similar, smaller fog.

"Doesn't matter to me. Besides, whatever we end up doing," He leans against Kaito's side, trapping their held hands between their hips. Yagami's jeans rub against his knuckles, and Yagami takes a long, deep, smiling. The air is sharp and cold. "It's fine, if it's with you."

Kaito elbows him as best he can. "Sappy."

Yagami laughs and behind his crooked lips his teeth are uneven. "You love it, though."

In the end, Yagami is a lucky mishmash of things that don't fit but somehow do. He's perfect by imperfection and he's all Kaito could've ever wanted, and there is nothing he wants more than this. In the end, they hold hands and talk and laugh and touch, and every word unspoken is somehow so loud between them, now.

Kaito turns his face towards him and Yagami's mouth moves to meet his. The curve of his nose settles against his cheek and suddenly all they are is held hands and touching skin, stray curls of Yagami's hair blowing against Kaito's forehead, Kaito's lips thinning as he smiles, involuntary and impossible to avoid. Yagami's face is warm in the cold and his cheeks are flushed, red tone running deep. The back of Kaito's neck is hot.

In the end, Kaito is cellulite and fat lying over muscle, and Yagami is crooked lips and bony hands - and in the end, he's pretty sure both of them want nothing more from each other than what they have, and what they are.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks to everyone who's stayed with me this far! your comments helped keep me going in those dry spells, and your thoughts and feeling mean a lot to me!  
> i'll keep writing judgment. i still have more in store :]  
> again, thanks so much! i hope this was as good for you as it was for me.


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